


Origin of the Never Seen

by olliya



Category: Naruto
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Non-Consensual, Pregnancy, Torture, Warring States Period (Naruto), but nothing too graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-05-16 23:31:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 39,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19328323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olliya/pseuds/olliya
Summary: Warring Clans Era AU. Senju Sakura gets captured by the Uchiha. Are they after her healing abilities or after something else? It will get dark, please read the warnings inside.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This fic will contain descriptions of torture and non-consensual sex. Nothing too gory and graphic (and I promise a happy ending) but non-con will definitely be there. If you're uncomfortable with reading such content this is not a story for you.

Sakura woke up. She was bound into a tight bundle, lying on her side on the ground. Around her – lots of boots. Sakura focused and glanced up. As she feared – the boots belonged to the Uchiha. Dark robes and distinctive faces told her enough even without seeing the crests.

So, she had been captured. She didn't remember much. She was at the backlines of their army and even that was somewhat of an overwhelming experience. The battle was huge and it's magnitude and importance were the only reasons she was even allowed to join.

As a norm the Senju clan guarded its healers even better than its women. And she happened to be both. The wounded were transported back to the village where they were treated. That practice of course caused more casualties, as some died during the transport but the medics were far too precious to be sent along on standard missions. That, and the elders hated the idea of the medical ninjutsu, developed thirty years ago by her own mother, slipping into enemies' hands.

Only for the great battle they were allowed to join. Sakura's mother didn't approve but she consented in the end. Sakura had been so eager. Seeing the battle first-hand cooled down her enthusiasm significantly. Now, lying captured in the Uchiha compound she was even less thrilled.

"Hey, look! She woke up," said someone over Sakura's head and people shifted. "Call Taichou! Don't let her out of the sight!"

"Why? She's bound up."

"She's a medic. Gods know what she is capable of."

Sakura scowled. They knew. So that what was dreaded by the elders had finally come to pass. Now they will try to extract her knowledge out of her.

She started to formulate a plan. She doubted she would hold infinitely against torture, but she could tell them some inconsequential or false information and hope they would believe that's all to it…

Before she could think further the shinobi around her shifted again.

"Here she is, Izuna-sama." The people around her stepped aside letting through a young, slender man with long ponytail. "But she's a healer…"

Something like displeasure flashed on the face of the newcomer.

Sakura frowned registering his scowl. Why would he be displeased that she was a med-nin? Wasn't it their objective to capture one?

"Is she now?" asked the man called Izuna. "Have anyone seen that?"

"Fugi. Before we got her."

"Where is Fugi?"

"Dead."

"So you don't really know."

"But, Taichou…"

"Let's make sure. Break her leg."

Sakura's eyes went huge. Through the panic she was trying to formulate a strategy. If she convinced them she was not a healer, would her chances increase? She won't be forced to reveal her clan's hidden jutsu. Or will she be just killed as useless? But then, it seemed that the man who seemed to be their leader was displeased by the fact that she was a medic… What should she do?

Her train of thoughts was cut short as a large man wielding a metal bar approached from her left. With a fast swing he rammed the bar into Sakura's leg. The pain went through her like a lighting shock. Sakura screamed. And then screamed some more. She would have screamed until her throat was hoarse, but then Izuna crouched in front of her.

"Can you heal yourself?"

All her calculations were blown out of her mind. She didn't care anymore if she would reveal the secrets or not. All she wanted was for this pain to stop. "Yes!" howled Sakura. "Untie me!"

"Why?"

Sakura suppressed the throwing up reflex. Why would he be asking those stupid questions? She was really not in a state to formulate answers.

"Why? Why do you need to be untied?"

"To heal!" screamed Sakura. "I need to touch the injury!"

"Untie her hands. Keep her legs bound." Izuna was still on her eye level. "Don't try anything," he told her. "I promise you that genjutsu I can put you under will be hundredfold more painful than what you're experiencing right now." Sharingan in his eyes spun and transformed into a strange pattern unlike any Sharingan she'd seen so far.

A kunai behind her back cut the ropes on her arms. Fighting the nausea and pain Sakura immediately curled up reaching to her lower legs. Healing when chakra depleted, woken up from a genjutsu and half-mad from pain – it wasn't exactly the way this jutsu was supposed to be utilized. But somehow it was working. Sakura felt the pieces of her tibia bones moving through the meat of her muscles, causing even more pain. She clenched her teeth and pushed on. Gluing the shattered pieces of the bone together felt almost like a relief even though she was already seeing black spots from chakra depletion in front of her eyes.

She didn't care to mend the bruised and broken skin. Absolutely spent she let her head fell on the ground.

The man called Izuna got up. Only now did Sakura realized from how close of a distance was he observing the healing.

"A medic indeed," he said and this time Sakura was sure – he wasn't pleased. "State your lineage, kunoichi."

Sakura closed her eyes. Why wouldn't they leave her alone? She didn't have any energy left. Not even to think on the strategically optimal answer.

"Who are your parents?" demanded Izuna.

"Dan… My father was called Dan."

As she expected, no semblance of recognition showed on Izuna's face. No wonder, her father died before she was even born, and Izuna, being maybe only a bit older than her couldn't have heard about him. Even though her father was hailed in the clan as a co-inventor of the healing jutsu, his name wasn't widely known as he kept largely off the battlefield.

"And your mother?"

"Tsunade…" managed Sakura through the haze in her mind.

A young Uchiha standing in a second row whistled. "We've got a jackpot!"

Izuna and couple of other ninjas turned their heads abruptly and the young shinobi cowered under their glances as if he said something that should have been said.

Vaguely filing this observation as important, Sakura passed out.

* * *

Sakura woke up. Somewhere. But she didn't manage to take in her surroundings because a strange sensation overwhelmed her. A sensation coming back together, of solving a puzzle, of constructing herself back piece-by-piece to recreate that what it was to be her.

She hadn't been sleeping, she realized. She was under genjutsu and those were the aftereffects of it.

Sakura remembered what she was taught about genjutsu. It was mostly how to counter it though. There were no hints on how to deal after it, as one assumed the victim would be dead.

She remained still, fighting nausea and the spinning in her head. She still felt suspended, not quite alright, but at least she remembered fully what had happened to her and why was she in this state. And most importantly, who she was.

So, to distract herself from queasiness Sakura went on analyzing her perimeter. She was in a room, bright enough but it was no daylight. Carefully turning her head Sakura localized the source of light – a row of candles standing in a small inclusion of the opposite wall.

On the same wall there was the door – closed, with a small control window. Whatever space the doors were leading to – it was also lit.

She was lying on the ground, but there was something soft under her. She tried siting up and that was when she realized the last important detail – she was chained to the floor, her arms in metal cuffs connected to the chains that were sunk into the floor. On the both sides of the futon she was lying on.

Sakura took three measured breaths and, making sure that all the aftereffects of genjutsu were gone, she sat up. It was awkward to do it without propping herself on the arms and she had to shift her butt to keep the balance, but now she could look around.

But before she could take a good look, the door opened. An Uchiha shinobi entered the cell and gestured at someone. "Come, she's awake!"

Another Uchiha rushed inside and behind him two women. Both men were dressed in standard shinobi gear, those seemed to be her guards. The women though… They were wearing plain clothes and carried no visible weapons. But before Sakura could think further, one of the guards bent down, looked her into the eyes and world went black.

When she woke up again, she was sitted with her back against the wall, and both women that must have been supporting her when she was unconscious were by her sides. One was holding her head steady and the other held her by the waist.

"Can you manage on your own?" asked the one to her right. She was more less Sakura's age and had all this hypnotizing beauty that only people from Uchiha clan possessed.

" _If I'm noticing such things, I must be quite all right_ ," realized Sakura. This genjutsu must have been much shallower than the previous one. She wasn't feeling sick either. Sakura nodded in confirmation.

Women slowly released their hold and she was sitting independently. Even though she was in another spot of the cell, her hands were chained to the floor again, but this time they were propped on two stone blocks, so she could rest them even if they were kept awkwardly away from her body. The wall behind her served as support so it wasn't that uncomfortable.

"Where am I? What do you want from me?" requested Sakura trying to keep the fear out of her voice. She thought she mostly succeeded.

But instead of answering or even acknowledging her question the older woman asked simply, "Are you hungry? We have food for you," as if she was completely ignoring her prisoner's status and its implications.

Sakura's belly answered with a loud rumble before she could do it herself. The women brought a bowl of some finely mashed stew and fed her. Spoon by spoon like a child. They gave her water from a canteen and held her head while she was drinking. It was awkward to surrender herself to such treatment, but Sakura thought it would be wiser not to protest, especially as both male guards were standing in the door, never letting their eyes off her. Plus, it seemed that the women were really doing their best to accommodate her needs.

Sakura came to conclusion that they simply weren't in charge and if she wanted to learn something more about Uchihas' plan for her she must wait for someone higher up in hierarchy. She decided not to waist an opportunity of getting her stomach full - who knew when would be the next time they would fancy to feed her.

When they were done with the meal, and the women were already gathering their stuff, one of them asked: "Don't you want to go to the toilet?"

Sakura nodded and realized that there was nothing resembling a loo in the cell. That meant they would need to walk her out. She could use this opportunity to look around and gather some intel about her whereabouts. But instead of unchaining her the women brought her a pot. Sakura stared.

"What am I supposed to do with that? And in front of everyone?"

The older of the women shrugged. "We cannot let you out of sight. Better get used to it."

Sakura was rendered speechless, but the women fitted the pot under her and stayed right next to her. They didn't even turn around.

When the door finally closed after all the guards and Sakura was left alone, she went right back to assessing her situation. The chains binding her weren't very massive, she shouldn't have problems with breaking them. Medical ninjutsu wasn't thankfully the only ability she had learned from her mother. She should be careful to be quiet about it though, not to alarm the guards prematurely.

Sakura ignited her chakra to mold it and send it to her arms when massive vertigo had her slump against the wall for support. Something was wrong with her chakra pathways. She tried molding her chakra once again, more carefully, focusing this time only on self-diagnosis.

The smaller trickle of chakra she evoked in her system still made her head spin but not enough to hinder her analysis. Her chakra was being disturbed by the cuffs on her arms and legs. They were sucking the chakra. The depletion itself wouldn't be such a problem, Sakura's reserves were large enough, but the manacles were acting as drains, introducing a rapid flow in her chakra pathways. As water sucked into a whirlpool, her chakra was getting turbulent and choppy. Nothing like gentle, well-behaved streams she was accustomed to.

Sakura stopped molding her chakra - slowly, the wild vibrations in her system quieted.

She inspected the cuffs more closely. They were much thicker and broader than it was necessary for restrain purposes. She leaned towards the shackle on her hand and strained her eyes. In the dim light she had missed it initially, but there were lines drawn on the metal. A seal, from the design similar to those she had seen in scrolls from Uzushio. Naruto, her foster brother, was supposed to learn his clan famed fuinjutsu to honour his lineage. But he was never a diligent student, preferring spars and taijutsu practices, so it was Sakura who ended up spending more time over those scrolls. She found intricacies of the seal design truly fascinating and hoped one day to study under a tutelage of some proper Uzumaki.

As far as she knew the Uchiha were never on good terms with Uzushio, but their kekkei genkai gave them a unique advantage. A seal is even easier copied than a jutsu – it was enough to see its written form.

But even the best seal worked only as long as it was complete. Sakura ground the cuff against the surface of the stone and cringed at the noise it made. She changed the angle and rubbed more carefully. The sound was less penetrating so she kept going. It felt like forever but the ink was slowly coming off. After an hour or so there was finally a gap in the seal pattern. Sakura excited her chakra again – the remaining three cuffs were still enough to disturb the flow, so after a short breather she started working of the shackle on her other arm.

She was just finishing the manacle on her right leg when the door opened.

Sakura was so stupefied that she didn't she manage to control her face expression. As if she was a simple civilian, her eyes flew directly to the cuffs with broken seals. And, of course, so did the eyes of the guards.

What in reality took splits of seconds seemed like hours to Sakura: both guards rushed forward, activating their Sharingan.

Judging it as her last chance Sakura focused all her chakra in her right arm, frantically rubbing the seal against the mattress in the same time. She pumped her chakra up to the limit and it bounced inside her like water shaken in a closed flask. But her mind was set on breaking the chain so she pressed against unyielding metal with the strength of her muscles… She barely registered the pain in her wrist, where the cuff was biting into her flesh, so focused she was on calculating the distance between herself and the approaching guards.

And that was her ultimate mistake – she never took eyes off the guards.

She heard the chain crack just before the world went black.


	2. Chapter 2

The next thing she realized was horrible thirst. Only after the thirst other sensations made themselves recognizable – dizziness, feeling of lying flat, pain in her wrists… And, the now-familiar, feeling of getting out of a genjutsu.

Ignoring physical discomfort Sakura carefully opened her eyes and looked around. She was back to the square one - same room, same tatami. Chakra disturbing shackles seemed the same as well. Chains were there again and the cuffs seemed heavier when she tried moving her hand. But that couldn't be all of it - they would have been stupid not to change something more. Sakura examined the cuffs – indeed, the seals were no longer painted on the metal. Now they were engraved. And engraved a good centimeter deep – that's why the cuffs had to be so massive.

Sakura couldn't contain a moan. Now it was really hopeless to remove this.

That she must have made such a rookie's mistake. She should have kept her eyes closed as long as they wouldn't force them open. She did break the chain; of that she was sure. She still could remember the sensation of her right arm flying upwards, suddenly freed from restrain. Couple of seconds more and maybe she could have freed her second hand and then it would have been a fair game.

That she had blown her chance like that! But how could she had foreseen that they would want to feed her again on that day? Who'd heard about feeding prisoners that often?!

Thinking about food made Sakura realize how hungry she was. She wanted to swallow, but her mouth was completely dry. Dehydration, for sure.

No wonder – she must have been under genjutsu for quite some time until the Uchiha had managed to fabricate such craftsmanship's masterpiece as these cuffs… Etching such precise design, so deep into the metal – it must have taken days, or someone there had mastery over Fire element of a level Sakura couldn't even start to imagine.

* * *

As she feared, the new seals were irremovable. So, the next escape attempt Sakura approached with more prudence. She learned the routine of the guards. It was quite busy, much busier than she would expect. Every morning, after she woke up, they were putting her under genjutsu (a shallow one, she suspected judging from the lack of aftereffects) and moving her from her sleeping mat to the place where she was sitting. She was fed three times a day and given pot whenever she called. In the evening, they were moving her back onto her bed and waking her up to allow her to fall into a natural sleep.

On the fourth evening, after recovering from the genjutsu she felt more dizzy and confused than usual. After examining her status, Sakura came to conclusion that she had been washed when knocked out. That made her profoundly uncomfortable. She didn't even want to imagine that they've been handling her unconscious body in such a way. Not that she didn't appreciated it on some level, but she just couldn't understand why would they go to such lengths? And she sure hoped that the male guards hadn't been present for the procedure.

The weakest point of her binds seemed to be the chains. Sakura took many hours examining them – not that she had much else to do. Finally, in both of the chains she identified a link that looked less robust than the rest.

Figuring out that the greatest freedom of action she had during the night, she strove to change her day-rhythm first. She learned to sleep sitting, during the day, and to remain awake in the night.

Finally, she decided to act. Immediately when the door closed behind the guards, she put her plan into action.

Sakura was flexible enough to reach with her foot to her head if she had to. Reaching to the chain at the height of her waist was no problem whatsoever. Fine manipulation of leg movements, so that the edge of the manacle fell exactly into the closure of the weakest link, was far bigger of a challenge. Still, with one candle lit throughout the night Sakura could control and fine-tune the procedure. The point was to force the link open using the pressure from sharp edge of the cuff. But, of course, even the weakest link was still relatively strong and 'sharp edge' wasn't exactly sharp either. It took entire night to produce a millimeter of an opening. Nevertheless, it was a beginning and Sakura expected that the work will get progressively easier as the opening gets wider.

Throughout the next night she worked on the other chain. And either the chosen link was stronger, or her ability to maneuver with her left foot worse than with her right, but in the morning the opening was barely visible.

The third and fourth night she spent on the second chain as well. On the fifth night, she felt she really had to change the sides because the cramps and tendon strain from the strange position she was working in started to be unbearable. That night she managed to widened the gap in the first chain to good three millimeters.

When she woke up from the usual morning-genjutsu, both her legs were chained to the floor.

Sakura wanted to howl and bang her head against the wall.

* * *

Next weeks were boring. Thankfully, despite her two escape attempt they were treating her well. Sakura imagined that not many captives listed boredom as their main complaint.

She was kept in good condition, fed regularly… Actually, she was fed with meat. It wasn't even game that they were giving to her. It was mostly chicken. Meaning – someone out there was slaughtering chickens to feed a prisoner. As far as Sakura knew Uchiha weren't particularly rich. Senju clan was by far more prosperous, and still Sakura had never eaten so much meat in her entire life. They also gave her fresh fruits – mashed into pulp, mixed with milk and sweetened with honey. It was actually really good.

It all stroke her as odd. It was too comfortable. No one was interrogating her. No one was forcing her to reveal the secrets of medical jutsu either.

All the facts combined led her to think that they were planning to ransom her. She was the daughter of clan leader's sister and, as Butsuma had only sons, her value as potential political bride was really high. But Sakura had never heard about any respectable ninja clan kidnapping other clan's members for money. And certainly, it didn't fit with what she knew about the Uchiha.

But maybe it wasn't about the money. Was it something political? A truce? Maybe even an armistice? Or maybe the Senju had captured an Uchiha and now she was supposed to be a part of hostage-exchange? She didn't hear about any high-rank prisoners, but it was not that she was ever informed about the politics of her uncle. Even her mother was aware of Butsuma's dealings only to a limited degree. Sakura suspected that it was because Butsuma was anticipating her opposition to most of his plans. As for sure was the case now - if Sakura was a part of some political bargain, her mother was kept in the dark. Otherwise she would have already been here – crushing the walls of this prison.

Those musings led Sakura to thinking about home. About her mother, about Ino, about Naruto. But the longing and the visions of them mourning her death almost broke her heart.

So instead of brooding on real life, she thought about imaginary scenarios. Alternative timelines in which she was in the village and all was well.

In her stories, as in real life, Ino's main focus were the guys. To have it more entertaining, Sakura made Ino's love interest a brooding, awkward, socially inapt boy. He was an orphan and was adopted into Senju clan at the age of ten or so. He was often acting weird because of some abuse that he went through during his early life. Sai was his name. Sakura chose him as a gag, but the longer she was thinking about it, the more convinced she was that Ino might actually like him if she would give him a chance. She made a promise to herself to point Sai to Ino once she gets out. Currently, in her story, Ino was deliberating how to catch Sai's attention. She tried spreading her charm in front of him several times already, but he was surprisingly resistant. Or dense. Imagining a frustrated, flustered Ino was making Sakura's days brighter.

She had harder time deciding about the story theme for Naruto. He was all into challenges and adventures, but Sakura understood now that all what they considered 'adventure' could end really badly. She learned it on her own skin. So, in the end she opted for a love story for her foster brother as well. Naruto was also grateful as a character – he was clumsy and over-enthusiastic and not particularly bright when it was coming to girls. Now Sakura was thinking about what kind of girl would be a good match for him.

* * *

It was probably some two weeks into her captivity when instead of her usual guards that were responsible for putting her into genjutsu, three unknown Uchiha shinobi came into her cell.

Sakura braced herself – it seemed that finally something was going to happen. The men were silent and Sakura was trying to figure out which one of the two it would be: was she going home? Or was she going to an interrogation?

They approached her and for the first time during her imprisonment Sakura felt fear. They looked so cold. They knelt next to her and one of them unceremoniously yanked her shift up, almost to her chest.

That was the last thing Sakura expected so in shock she forgot even to scream. She only just scrambled to close her leg together but, of course, it was on vain.

But the men seemed not to have come here for entertainment as they paid no heed to her naked body. As in slow-motion Sakura watched the man to her left unsheathe a kunai and it was then when it dawned on her – they were going to torture her. And then she screamed. The prospect of having the integrity of her body breached brought out an uncontrollable shriek.

She shouldn't scream, she knew she shouldn't - they didn't do anything yet, but she just couldn't stop.

The man to her right performed a quick sequence of hand seals and produced a jet of flames out of his mouth. The man holding a kunai lowered it into the fire and held there until it glowed.

Burning. They were going to burn her – it was the last lucid thought that crossed Sakura's mind before she became nothing more than animal instincts. She struggled and tried crawling away but the third man pinned her down by the waist blocking her view.

She only heard the jet of fire stop and felt two hands gripping at her tights. And then the pain. The scorching, white pain in the middle of her abdomen. In bout of pointless instinct Sakura pressed herself into the mattress, as if, if she would press hard enough, the solid surface underneath would budge and she could sink into it away from the hot blade.

The hot blade that lifted and moved to burn the next spot. Sakura sucked in the air and only then, when sudden silence hit her ears, she realized she had been screaming all the time. The blade moved again.

She was ready to tell them everything, reveal every secret she knew. And to make up several new ones if need be. Another patch of her skin.

And then, when she thought she wouldn't stand it anymore, they let her go. The man to her left sheathed his kunai back, the oldest of them considered the inflicted damaged with his Sharingan and then they simply left.

When the door closed behind them Sakura broke into a sob. She was shaking whole, more out of fear and shock than from the pain. It took her long minutes to come down, to convince herself that they were really gone and not coming back.

Of course, Sakura knew that prisoners were tortured. How would one otherwise extract the information? In the Senju clan there were special people designated to such tasks. But it was only theoretical knowledge for her so far. Now Sakura was learning how it felt to lie splayed on the floor, helpless and on mercy of others. And she didn't even know what they wanted so the only defense of a prisoner - trading intel for integrity – wasn't available to her.

Why did they leave without asking a single question? Was it some kind of interrogation technique? Maybe they didn't believe in testimonies given during torture? Maybe they just left her alone with her pain and fear to have it ferment inside her?

Right, the pain. It was loudly demanding Sakura's attention. She had to admit it – Uchiha knew what they were doing. Burns were one of the most painful injuries. Sakura forced herself to look at her mangled body through cool eyes of a professional. It wasn't simple as each time she was realizing it was _her_ body, she had to fight a gag reflex.

It was a broad burn, size of a palm maybe, in the very center of her lower stomach. But it was a second-degree only, from the look of it. _"Of course, the most painful one, what else would it be?"_ thought Sakura bitterly. But it was nothing that wouldn't heal. If it doesn't get infected, that is…

The pain was throbbing. It was radiating from the burn, vibrating through her entire body. Soon it was the only sensation she could feel. Sakura bit down a moan. On some level she knew it was only a signal her tissues were sending. A hijacked signal because pain was supposed to be a 'don't touch that, run!' alert and now the stimulus was long gone. Nevertheless, the damaged tissues kept sending the message - an error in design if she was asked. Ugh, a damn trying error… Sakura bit her bottom lip to hold the sounds in.

There was no damage ongoing, the injury wasn't life-threatening. There was nothing she could do – Sakura tried calming herself down. And it wasn't that she could convince the guards to get her a medic or to unbound her. But logical arguments weren't exactly working. Pain knew its ways into her mind.

And worse than pain – the feeling of hopelessness.

But wait, maybe there was something she could do? The seal was disturbing the chakra in her body between the manacles. But her palms were technically 'out'. So maybe she could produce some chakra, if even the smallest amount of it. Sakura concentrated. A tiny glow appeared at the tip of her middle finger. She bent her wrist – she needed to reach her belly. Sakura focused her energy and made the glow longer. It was now the as long as her finger but that seemed to be the limit.

Well, if she couldn't reach with her hand to the wound, she would need to move the wound to her hand. Sakura twisted her body to the side until was bent into an arch. She strained her wrist against the manacle. And then, thank all the gods, it was enough.

Cell by cell, Sakura started mending the burnt flesh. It took excruciatingly long. She needed two breaks until she reached the middle of her stomach and then she started again from the other side. The end result was the crudest work she did since the practice on dead fish when she was six.

But the wound was healed. Absolutely exhausted, Sakura fell into a deep slumber.

Next evening Sakura was torn out of genjutsu by a horrible pain. Even though all she saw in front of her was the back in dark-blue garment with Uchiha crest, it was immediately obvious to her what was happening. She was being burnt again.

But knowing she would heal soon Sakura held on. Sure, she screamed but the fear was far smaller.

When they left Sakura didn't panic as the last time. At first. Until she realized that her arms were spread so far from her body that there was no way for her to reach the wound, no matter how she tried.

Someone must have seen her healing herself yesterday. In retrospect, she remembered that she had heard steps on the corridor. Preoccupated with the jutsu she ignored it of course.

Pain flooded her mind, bright and clear. And Sakura had no way to stop it.

"What do you want?" she screamed towards the closed door. "What the hell do you want?! Do you want to know something?! Then ask me! Fucking ask me!"

Only silence answered her.

"I'll tell you! I'll tell you everything!" sobbed Sakura.

The pain kept stable for next hours. Sakura didn't sleep even for a second. Even if the pain was constant, her perception of it wasn't. The longer it lasted the more unbearable it was getting. Sakura thought she would go crazy.

Somewhere in the middle of the night she was reduced to begging. "Please, call a healer, give me something against pain, please! Please!" Sakura kept shouting through the door. "Or put me under genjutsu!" Sakura couldn't believe what she was asking for – she hated that blackness of genjutsu, this feeling of non-existing, of her mind leaving her body completely vulnerable. But now it would be a blessing to lose consciousness even for a while.

"If you're in pain, then heal it," answered one of the guards through the door.

Sakura jerked her head in surprise. "You want me to heal it? That's why you did it? Then untie me. Just one hand, please… I won't try anything, I swear!"

Were they after the medical jutsu in the end? But she did heal her leg, in front of everyone. Maybe they didn't see it correctly? Maybe because she was clothed? Or maybe a specific person needed to see it, someone with enough medical knowledge?

Maybe it was her chance. "Hey! If you want to see the healing, call those who are supposed to watch! I'll do it, I'll show them!"

But no further answer came from behind the door.

She didn't sleep the entire night. During the day she couldn't eat. The next night she fell into some form of half-sleep where reality was mixing with feverish dreams.

On the third day the pain lessened somewhat and she managed to sleep somewhat between lunch and supper.

* * *

On the fourth day the door opened with a thud and instead of already familiar guards Sakura saw an old woman. One of her female guards helped into the cell, supporting her by the elbow when she crossed the doorstep. The other hurried behind carrying a large pack and a sitting pillow.

The old lady waited until her seat was prepared next to Sakura's mat and only after everything was laid out, she sat down. Her hair was completely white, loose, long and unruly, as if she wasn't paying much attention to her looks. She was ancient, but one could see the hints of past beauty on her face even now. But of a beauty that was never paired with kindness.

"Undress," she waved her hand at Sakura but clearly, she was addressing her guards. Both women scrambled to untie the ribbons binding her shift. Sakura suspected that it was constructed the way it was - from two separate squares of fabric held together only by the strings at her sides - in exact purpose of removing it easily when the guards were manipulating her unconscious body to wash and tend to her.

Sakura was aware that she must have been naked and on display in front of those people many times before, but it was the first time that she it wasn't under the genjutsu. Even given her medic's approach to human body she couldn't help but to be self-conscious.

The old lady in meantime was taxing her body up and down. She seemed to focus her attention mostly on the wound on Sakura's belly.

"It's safe to touch her Miyako-sama," offered the younger guard in hushed, polite tone. "She cannot produce those chakra spikes out of her body. We were so scared at first.." She broke off under a sharp scrutinizing glance of the older guard. "Uhm... I apologize for my forwardness."

The old woman shot her a scornful look, "I don't recall asking for your advice," she said and started poking around Sakura's wound, obviously checking for inflammation. Sakura hissed as she found an affected spot. The old woman clicked her tongue.

"Burnt you alright, haven't they? But I've seen much worse; two, three months and you'll be fine," said the old woman in a brusque manner and took a jar of ointment from her pack. She rubbed some of it into the wound and handed the jar to one of her guards. "Apply as often as possible. And when you wash her, don't wet the wound."

With visible effort she shifted closer to Sakura. "Now, let's see the rest…" she said and unceremoniously palmed at her lower and upper abdomen, ribcage, armpits and finally her neck. Then she slipped her hand under Sakura's body and was feeling the skin on her shoulder blades on her behind. "No bedsores." For the first time her tone was something else than condescending.

Both female guards exchanged relieved glances.

"Better keep it like this." The disdainful tone was back. "Rub this in," the old lady handed over another jar, "for prevention, every day before you put her to sleep."

"All fine. The girl is healthy. So far." The old lady sniffed at air and dug again in her pack. "Here, burn these herbs here from time to time. If she gets a lung infection from the molds she will be done for." The old woman turned to her. "I've heard you know that Senju's new body-stitching jutsu? You don't imagine how I would wish I could learn it from you. Even now, at the very end of my life, I still crave to learn it if it's as marvelous as they say… I would give up half of my remaining days for a chance to learn it." she broke off and propped herself on her hand to get up.

There was such zeal and yearning on her face that Sakura for the first time thought that maybe she would want to pass her knowledge on. That it wouldn't be a jutsu-stealing but sharing it. That maybe keeping it secret within the clan was a wrong thing to do.

But the moment passed and usual strictness returned to old lady's face. "But what's done that's done and it serves no purpose to deliberate on 'what ifs'," she said and stood up.

"Uhm, Miyako-sama…" interrupted older of the female guards with her head and eyes respectfully down. "About the timing… Could you possibly doublecheck for us?"

Without a word the old lady activated her Sharingan. Sakura never saw the Sharingan in a woman before, and in this woman, with her already piercing and pitiless eyes, it looked doubly frightening. Red gaze felt penetrating as it was scanning her body, no doubt examining now her chakra flow.

"You utter imbeciles!" spat the old lady out. "How stupid can you be! Can't you even count to fourteen?!"

The younger guard's hands flew towards her mouth in obvious fright. The older one bent even lower stuttering a string of apologies and explanations. "We're so sorry Miyako-sama. So sorry. But she healed the first burns and they insisted on repeating the test, and afterwards we needed to wait couple of days, and…"

"And now it is too late." Old lady took a deeper breath and continue. "I had half a mind not to tell you at all, so he would have to be bothered twice and you'd face the consequences of your negligence. Have in mind that I'm telling you only for the sake of the girl," the old woman announced in a tone cutting all the discussion and turned to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and I would love to know what did you think about this chapter :)


	3. Chapter 3

Next couple of weeks were dominated by healing of her wound. Her guards would go to extra lengths to keep it clean and they even didn't let her sit up for couple of days when the edges began to close to speed up the process.

Realizing that her muscles are withering away Sakura developed a training routine. There wasn't much that she could do, but she was moving her arms and legs as far as the chains allowed her. A hundred swings of the right arm sidewards, a hundred up and down. Same with the left. Then the legs. Manacles acted as weights and she was thankful for that.

When she was returned on to her futon for the night, she was repeating the training, because lying down the range of movements was a bit different and other muscles were put to work.

No one was coming to interrogate her. The old lady never returned. The torturers also, thank the gods, didn't make an appearance. Sakura was starting to curse her inquisitive mind as the unawareness served as the worst torture for her.

Until one day, someone new came into her cell and she regretted her curiosity.

* * *

He was not much older than her and he had very long hair. Even more strikingly, he was carrying them loose. Even in other circumstances this alone would ensure him her full attention. Hair so long was a display of power. Her cousin Hashirama grew his hair waist-long exactly because of that. Tobirama, her other cousin, never missed an opportunity to berate Hashi on the idiocy of such demonstrations.

A man sat on his heels in a formal distance from her and at first didn't say anything. He was taxing her, but also, it looked as if he was thinking what to say. "I'm here to inform you about your future," he announced in the end.

"Finally," said Sakura with a bit more of snide than she intended. "It took you forever. It's pretty clear you need me, just why did it take you so long, that I had to sit in this place for months..." She mocked. She was quite sure of her position, it was clear she had a high value, so she could allow herself to be snappy. And after all that time in a cell – she was.

The man weighted her words. "We need you… Well said, we do need you."

"For what?" Something in his tone set off an alarm in Sakura's mind.

The man didn't answer and it only made Sakura more nervous.

"What is it that you need me for?!"

"To carry a child."

Sakura's mind went blank for a long while. She tried to get it to work, she really did. She was staring at the man and tried to make sense out of his words. And then it all came down on her. The realization what will be done to her. The implications of it. The reasons why they have been treating her as they were. How is this going to look like. That she is not getting out for the nine months at least. And most pressingly – what has to been done to her that she conceives a child.

She wanted to react somehow, her visceral reaction was to get up, fight that man, and then all the guards, to start tearing through those corridors until she got out or got killed. To struggle. She strained her hands against the chains, not in an attempt to break them – she knew she couldn't, but to ground herself. To perform an action, any action.

She must have looked really bewildered as something shifted on the man's face. "Is there anything you would like to ask?"

Three minutes ago, she would have screamed: 'tons of things'. Now she only wanted to cry. But she should get herself in grip - it was the first time during her imprisonment that someone was talking to her. She should get as much as she could out of this man.

"Why me?"

"Cannot tell you this."

Sakura scowled. "What are you going to do with this child?"

"It will be safe and unharmed for time being. As safe and unharmed as it is possible in this unstable world."

He clearly didn't understand where she was coming from, mistaking her question for maternal concern (as if she had any!) so, she rephrased. "But why? Why do you need that child?"

"Cannot tell you either."

"What will you do with me afterwards?"

"It's still unclear, but I also cannot tell you this."

Sakura wanted to cover her face in desperation. She wanted to curl in a ball in the corner of the cell and cry.

"When?" She swallowed. "When is it going to happen?" She may still figure something out. She has much more info now. She didn't know exactly what, but still, she had her brain. Until now she didn't try any too risky maneuvers assuming that she was going to be either ransomed or pumped for knowledge about medical jutsu, which at this point she was more than willing to share. But knowing what was in store for her, she won't be playing safe anymore.

"Tomorrow."

She didn't hold it. She screamed. In retrospect she thought she was screaming 'no' and tried to get up on her feet. It lasted some time, it had the guards run in, had the man send them all away with a small but commanding gesture. At some point Sakura exhausted all her energy and slumped down.

"There is nothing you can do about it," said the man. "Maybe awareness of it can bring you some consolation…"

Sakura wiped her wet cheek against her shoulder. There was just one more question to ask. "With whom?" No answer came and then she knew. "With you?" she asked with trembling lips.

The man nodded.

She stared at him. And stared some more. And some more. Into the face of a man that was going to rape her. That was going to be the father of her child. She thought her brain would explode.

"In the end it won't be very different from what happens to any woman entering an arranged marriage."

"In an arranged marriage I wouldn't be chained to the floor," spat Sakura through clenched teeth.

"No. But there would be other chains holding you down even better than those." He gestured at her binds. "Like debts that your father would be finally able to pay with the money he had gotten for you. Or your new husband's army standing on the border of your homeland…"

Sakura scowled but she couldn't deny the truth in his words.

"We still have one issue to discuss."

Sakura re-focused with astonishment. He wanted to _discuss_ something with her? About her rape and absolute objectification?

"We need to decide how is it going to happen. "

Sakura glared.

"I imagine what are you thinking about right now - a rape, with you screaming and fighting back. But this is not going to happen like that. There is a risk of injury and we need to care about your physical well-being. And I don't find pleasure it such displays of power." He added as if in afterthought. "So, I could put you under genjutsu. You will neither feel nor remember anything. That would be probably the kindest way. It was strongly advised to me, especially in the light of you tolerating our genjutsu so well. I'm being told you're not showing any signs of deterioration of your mental capacities." The man paused, clearly waiting for some comment from her side. When nothing came, he picked up. "But since you're a kunoichi, I thought… That maybe you would prefer not to be knocked out. In such a case, we could navigate it as any other man and woman would. Or, as close to it as the security measures will allow."

Fire sparkled in Sakura eyes.

He must have seen it. "No, I won't unchain you. Your fighting skill and your power is well recognized. That, and do you think me a fool – to come into such a close contact with a medic-nin? I've seen what chakra scalpels can do to people. I still value my life. And all my body parts."

Sakura bit down a curse.

"You don't have to decide now. Think about it until tomorrow," he added when she failed to answer.

And he left.

* * *

The rest of the day Sakura spent frantically going through her options. In last-ditch effort she tried once again to break the chains. It didn't work of course, she only hurt her wrists.

The noise she made combined with the state of her wrists alarmed her female guards, that promptly threatened her with putting her down with genjutsu if she didn't stop struggling. Seeing her distress, they took shifts in sitting with her, so even if she had had a plan it would have been be impossible to realize it. But she didn't have a plan. The only other option was to try a suicide - biting off her own tongue, choking on food. But Sakura was sure that one such attempt and she would end up gagged and fed through a tube till the end of her captivity.

And, frankly, she had zero intention of ending her life. She wanted to live. She wanted out! She wanted to come back home, back to her life. See her mother and friends. Visit her favourite spots in the forest. Go see that famous fireworks festival in the capital of the province with Ino. Finish developing that blood-replenishing jutsu she was working on before she had been captured. Finally beat Naruto in a spar. Fall in love… Get married? Have a child?

Oh, wait, that was going to happen very soon. In wrong order, this would happen in the wrong order. Tears welled up in Sakura's eyes.

Still, as she was weighting her options, being dead was far worse than being raped. Death was kind of a terminal solution. Not that she had put much thought into it before, but the threat of rape in the violent times like theirs, combined with her life as kunoichi – it was not that it was something unheard of. It was one of the dangers that a woman had to take into account when setting off on any mission.

So, left with no options she decided to face the unavoidable. If they wanted her pregnant, it meant she would be kept in good condition and unharmed. And at some point, an opening would appear. Now it was only the question of preserving her fighting capability. Both physical and mental.

And there was one more thing she could preserve, Sakura came to conclusion. She could preserve her dignity. Whatever happens she won't think about it as of a disgrace for her. Just as it isn't a peasant village's 'shame' when it is pillaged and burnt. Entire guilt and entire disgrace are on the side of the assaulter.

At least she won't have to pretend and play along as her older cousin, Tōka, had to.

Tōka had been married off to a high-ranking Hyūga three years ago. Butsuma negotiated this marriage long and hard, aiming at the Hyūga heir himself. When it failed, and Butsuma settled for his younger brother, Hyūgas thought they won. Until, a year and a half later, Tōka came back home carrying loads of top-secret intel. And a baby in her belly. Now the white-eyed brat was already learning to walk and Tōka stayed in the Senju compound in a permanent undercover – not to expose the ruse to the Hyūgas. Sakura heard that they still believed she had been kidnapped.

When Tōka had returned Sakura asked her all kinds of questions about her mission. Had it been difficult, she wanted to know, mindful that she might get a similar assignment one day.

Tōka claimed that it wasn't the acts themselves that were hard, even as she went a virgin onto this mission, but the necessity of acting as if she was enjoying. Her husbands dick wasn't much to fear, Tōka claimed, it was his ego that was the beast demanding to be fed.

She shouldn't be afraid, Sakura tried convincing herself. It will only be worse if she is. She wasn't a ninja for nothing in the end. And every injury hurts more when one is afraid. Plus, it can't be worse than this burning torture, that's for sure. That man seemed to be resolved not to harm her physically. And emotionally… well, that will be more difficult… But she needed to remember that whatever happens, it won't make her any different, any less. She will still be the same after that is done, still herself.

That man assessed her correctly – knowing one day earlier gave her time to mentally prepare. She won't get damaged by it. She will get through it and she will escape. Pregnant or not. And if pregnant, then she will be escaping with something of great value to them, Sakura thought seething.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and please tell me what you think...


	4. Chapter 4

The next day passed in a constant presence of a guard. They fed her, a bit less than usual, it seemed to her. They bathed her, under genjutsu but earlier than it was customary. When she woke up from it, she was already on her sleeping futon and the lights were half-dimmed. Sakura gulped. It seemed it was getting real. She tried the chains on her and with surprise she realized that the ones on the legs were looser than usual. She could bend her legs in the knees. When she promptly did so, it became obvious why. Sakura felt blood rushing to her cheeks. Suddenly, her short shift that she got so accustomed to, that was only practical when she needed to use a toilet, that was like her second skin right now, became her enemy. She looked down at herself – and wondered how much one could see from the position between her legs.

She had promised herself not to panic, but it wasn't really working. Fear waxed to the point of hyperventilation and waned leaving her empty. What was that place called you were in when you had passed through fear?

* * *

She thought she wanted it to be over already. To be left alone, that he should hurry, show up finally and be done with it.

Well, and then he came and she regretted wishing for it.

This time he sat down sideways on her bedding, on the height of her waist, not on the floor. _'I guess the formal introductions were for yesterday,'_ thought Sakura bitterly.

"So, how is it going to be? Am I to put you to sleep?" he asked quietly.

Sakura shook her head. "No."

"I thought so. A kunoichi in the end. But one sign of fight and you're going down."

Sakura nodded.

"So, how close to a normal thing do you want it to be?" He leaned over her as if he was about to lie down. "I guess we can still manage pretty close to the usual course of events."

Sakura turned her head away. "As far as possible. Just do it," she nodded towards her nether parts. "And be done with it."

The man shifted away; stiffness noticeable in his movements. "As you wish."

He knelt between her legs and bent them at the knees. He pulled her gown slightly up, but only to her waist. He put his hand to her sex and Sakura flinched. She steeled herself to remain put but when he dragged fingers across her folds, she hissed. It hurt. Such a small touch and it already hurt. Her flesh was so dry that even the lightest friction was causing pain.

The man noticed it. "How do you imagine is this going to work?" he arched his eyebrow. "I can't even put a little finger in you."

"Doesn't matter if it hurts."

"You're going to get injured." The man considered her for a moment.

"I don't care. It's not that I'm going to die from it. I'm the medic here, trust me," finished Sakura sarcastically. She at least wanted to preserve a mental upper hand. Or even hand. Or not to suffer complete defeat…

"Hmm, probably you won't." Sakura braced herself. "But I won't do such a thing."

"Why? Bad conscience out of sudden?" mocked Sakura. "Great! Then let me out. The guards are gone, aren't they?"

The man looked at her thoughtfully. "I know it's not easy for you. Let me make it at least bearable." Not waiting for her answer, he lowered his head to her sex. Sakura stared. She was completely at loss about what was he planning to do until she felt his tongue between her folds. She flinched away, but he held her with his hand heavy against her belly.

"Stop that," she said. What a ridiculous demand, it was rape, he wasn't going to stop. Why was she even protesting? Sakura furrowed her brows trying to concentrate through the foreign sensation between her legs. "Stop, it's embarrassing," she managed to finally verbalize her problem.

"It's going to make it easier. Just stay put."

Sakura let out an exhale and decided to look at the ceiling. The man slid both hands under her buttocks and angled her core more towards himself. He was licking a bit lower now. He freed one hand from under her a pressed the center between her folds. A bolt of strange sensation sparked through Sakura. He kept pressing, gently but with a steady rhythm. Sakura's exhales became quicker. She felt a sudden urge to make some sound. She felt that, there where he was pressing, something was becoming bigger, as if swollen.

The man was licking alarmingly close to her entrance. And then he pushed his tongue inside. Sakura finally made a sound, but it was more of a shriek. She tried to worm away, because it felt so weird.

The man lifted up his head. "Don't like it?"

Sakura tried to think about an answer. "I.. I don't know."

"And like this?" The man returned to licking but a bit higher now, at what was for sure now looking like a nub. His finger was nudging the entrance, slowly pushing inside her.

Sakura produced a sound again and this time it was more like a moan. His finger went deeper.

Then he bent it and brushed against some place inside her. Sakura would have never guessed that there was a distinctive "place" inside her, but there it was. And he was touching it. As if he had pressed a button, sharp pang of electricity assaulted her senses.

He pushed the same spot again a bit harder. A high yelp found its way out of Sakura's mouth. And, against all her expectations and intentions, her body instead of flinching away, leaned into the touch. Ever so minutely, but her pelvis shifted towards his hand.

Sakura's eyes fluttered in surprise, but before she could process it, he touched her there again. And again. Funny sounding noises were coming out of her mouth and she was feeling strange. It was hard to focus because this sensation was so overwhelming. Still, Sakura fought for concentration and realized that what she felt was, in fact, pleasure.

But why would she feel like that? Realization sobered her up.

She didn't want to feel pleasure. She had set her mind on not letting this thing have impact on her. Have it happen and deal with the consequences. Turn in to her advantage.

She was expecting shock, humiliation, probably some pain. She was prepared to hold against those. But pleasure?

Sakura bit at her tongue.

"Stop that," she said with all the seriousness she could muster.

The man lifted his head from between her legs. "Does it hurt?"

"It's… too much. Don't do it."

He brushed his fingers very gently against that spot inside her. Shiver went through Sakura from her head down to the tips of her toes.

"It is supposed to feel good. Does it now?"

Sakura looked him straight in the eyes. She had herself finally under control and she could keep her attention away from the sensation between her legs. She narrowed her eyes. On his face, that look… Was he expecting something? Was he hoping?

Yes, it was hope - Sakura almost smiled to herself at this sudden realization. He could have her chained down and helpless but it seemed she could still get her pay-back. Stupid of him to lower his guard like that. To let her glimpse his emotions. Now she could hurt him back.

"No, it doesn't feel good." She said with all the spite she could produce. "Aren't you here for something else? Then get over with it already and free me from your presence."

He looked at her, and Sakura saw exactly what she wanted to see: disappointment and dejection. "As you prefer."

He opened his trousers and freed himself. Sakura's eyes jolted towards the crucial part of anatomy. She was scared, but she had spent the whole day on convincing herself that it was not going to be the end of the world. She needed to survive it, and to survive it in her best possible condition to be able to escape. She won't let it break her spirit.

"Tell me if it hurts."

He positioned himself at her entrance and pushed slowly until he was half way in. There was some pain, but nothing of the magnitude she expected so she didn't say anything. Nevertheless, he stopped and waited. When she didn't react in any way, he pushed deeper and he was suddenly really close, face to face with her.

Sakura felt tears welling in her eyes and she blinked them away. The man halted. "Does it hurt?" he asked.

"Do you think that pain is the only reason I have for crying?! Just do it!"

He pursed his lips and started moving.

Sakura ran the tips of her thumbs across her nails. Left to right. Right to left. Left to right. The edge of her index fingernail was jagged. She should remember to file it against the floor later. The nail on the middle finger of her right hand had different curvature than all the others. Funny, she never noticed that before. Was is because she had smashed it once when she was a child?

The man was still moving; he modified the angle in meantime and his thrusts were becoming more forceful. He was trying to look into her eyes. Sakura closed them and re-focused on the shape of her nails. He pushed maybe five or six times more and stilled.

Couple of heartbeats later Sakura risked opening her eyes. He wasn't looking at her face anymore, but at the place where they were connected. There was something, that she could only interpret as concentration on his face. He slipped out of her, readjusted her shift and sat on the floor next to her futon with his back against the wall. Sakura turned her head away.

"You should pray that it works, so we don't have to repeat this act in a month," he said after a long silence. "It's not how I wanted, believe me," he added after she didn't respond in any way.

At those words something in Sakura finally broke. "How dare you say something like that!" she sobbed. "It is me who should be saying that! You have no right!"

"Don't I? Really?" The man shifted. "I was here as well, participating in the same act. I also have my opinion about it."

"Yet you performed this act. You had a free choice while I didn't."

"Don't you think it only makes it worse?"

"Are you trying to make me pity you? What do you want? My compassion?!" If the venom from the voice could kill, that man would have been dead.

"No. Not at all. I just wanted to tell you that I didn't want it to happen in such a way."

"Guess what, me neither…"

Silence.

"Then, how did you want it?"

"Differently! In every aspect! Most importantly in regard to the partner though…"

"Do you have a fiancée? A love interest? Someone you wanted to do it with?"

"Not your fucking business."

"Then I guess it's a 'no'."

"Let me show you something better then." He rose from the floor and bend over her. "So at least you can know how would it happen if we had more freedom. How I wished it would have happened..." Sakura, shocked, stared at him wondering if he wanted to kiss her or something…

And then Sharingan spun.

And she was in a village. Neither Senju compound nor Uchiha's but some ordinary peasant village, with rice fields all around. It was evening, full moon was just rising from behind the forest and it was full summer. Cicadas were singing. The festival was under way.

He came for the matsuri, he was not from the village, she had never seen him before. They couldn't take eyes off each other. And then they were rushing away, away from the people, away from the houses. Holding his hand, she was dragging him, urging him to follow. She knew the path; she was going where the undergrowth of the forest was the thickest. Away from eyes, away from ears. And then there was bark of the tree against her back, and her legs around his waist, and lips and tongues and teeth. Her yukata went up and he pressed inside her. He was resonating in her and she was screaming in such a throaty voice that she had troubles recognizing as her own. But it was her own. And then there was blood on her back from the bark and blood under her fingernails and the whole world exploded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and I am very curious about your impressions, especially as this chapter was, well, probably the most controversial so far...
> 
> I also wanted to thank so much everyone who left the reviews! I've never got so many insightful and in-depth reviews as to this fic! They really make me think, consider different things and get me more inspired for writing! (Please keep them coming...)


	5. Chapter 5

When she woke up from the genjutsu, it was already morning and the female guards were in the cell prepping the food. That helped Sakura in her resolve not to dwell on the events of the previous night. Rather, she focused on the headache that was plaguing her. Sakura suspected it was the aftereffect of the lengthy and massive genjutsu that substituted the natural sleep that night.

Her thoughts were drawing dangerous circles around the topic of last evening, but Sakura kept correcting their paths. She didn't want to risk a breakdown in the presence of her jailers.

When they left, and her thoughts still gyrated around the events of the previous night, Sakura made a small deal with herself. She would go through her memories. Once. In the end she chose to be conscious exactly because she didn't want to shy away from it. So she'll think about it once and then she won't let it bother her anymore.

Trying to keep her cool, Sakura assessed her experience. It wasn't what she had expected it to be. His behaviour managed to surprise her. She wasn't still quite sure if it was for the better or for the worse, as Sakura really disliked being proved wrong.

On a positive side – she indeed didn't end up physically hurt. He hadn't brutalized her. Neither had he used her to satisfy his lust – that would have been really disgusting.

And she managed to get to him, thought Sakura brimming with satisfaction. Funny, how they reversed their roles – he was trying his best not to hurt her, while she – just the opposite. Good for her that they had both succeeded.

She was a bit disappointed in herself that she had ended up crying in front of him, twice on top of that. But all things considered, Sakura thought she had held pretty well. She could be proud of herself.

And the genjutsu… Wasn't it the whole point of genjutsu that the victim was put into a different state of mind? Even if she had enjoyed it, it didn't mean anything. Just like dreams don't.

* * *

She was counting. Oh, she was counting. She made a rhyme for each of the days not to make a mistake. Still she had impression she did make one around day eleven or twelve. The fourteenth day came, and she became uncertain whether she hadn't done another mistake between the days seven and eight. She wasn't sure anymore. Counting all the mistakes in, she still hoped. But then the sixteenth day passed, and the twentieth, and the twenty-fifth. She wasn't bleeding.

Sakura thought that maybe she should be thankful that it worked. That she won't have to go through the rape again.

She had a lot of time to think all the possible scenarios through.

She could abort the pregnancy. At least theoretically, because the chains were preventing her from reaching her belly. Meanwhile the reason for that fire torture from the last month became painfully obvious – they were checking if she can manipulate her body when bound. And, after they optimized her restrains, the answer was: unfortunately, no.

Sakura never heard about chakra healing (or killing) performed through chakra focused somewhere else than in the palms, but she suspected it could be possible. Only that she would need months to practice it to the point that she could kill the life inside her without maiming herself. Months assuming lack of those cuffs interfering with her ability to mold chakra. At time wasn't exactly on her side.

On the other hand, even if she successfully aborted the child, they would only have her conceive another one. It would take many, many repetitions to convince the Uchiha that she is unable to carry the pregnancy to the term, and that only assuming no one ever realizes that the abortions were induced and not spontaneous. Sakura wasn't sure she was ready for it.

Other option would be to really render herself infertile, to mess up her insides to the point of making her useless. Sakura wasn't ready to give up on that part of her life either.

Either the way, being labelled as useless was probably a death sentence. She already knew too much. They would never let her go.

She kept deliberating on escape plans, but the security around her was extremely high.

All things considered, as long as she carried the child, she was safe. The opening would present itself. Somewhat comforted that not taking any action was a logically sound decision, Sakura waited.

She kept on her training schedule.

To motivate herself she came up with a system of rewards. After completing one series she was allowed to sing one song. She wasn't sure if her signing was any good, and sure she had never sung aloud with other people in the listening range, but now she stopped caring. Her guards were feeding and washing her and emptying the pot after her. They washed her up after the sex… Sakura didn't intend to limit herself with self-consciousness in one of the very few activities she could do for the sake of their sensibilities.

So, she sung. She realized that she only knew seven songs. But there was freedom in choosing in which order she would sing them. And she relished each and every time she could _choose_.

Her days were identical. She still tried counting them but mistakes were occurring more and more often. She was anywhere between day thirty-six and forty-two. At some point it occurred to her that she was still counting days from the rape. That it became her orientation point. It made her pause that she had actually forgotten.

On the day forty-five (or fifty-one, or fifty-two) she remembered an eight song. It was a true highlight; she couldn't imagine being so happy about something so trivial.

Despite all her efforts, Sakura knew she was losing strength very rapidly. She could see it on her tights – muscles were gone and it was starting to look really unhealthy. After four months of imprisonment she wasn't sure if she was able to stand up at all. Whatever escape she would try, would not work at this point.

She also picked up her stories back.

She sent Ino on a date. Well, Ino of course sent herself. But Sakura was there to help her picking her outfit. They bickered, as usual, because Ino wanted to go all out and Sakura kept calling her slutty. Sakura wondered what did her guards thought about her, when they heard, as they must have, her arguing with herself aloud about a dress. She hoped they would label her crazy. Maybe it would make them feel bad. Or lower the security.

And, frankly, Sakura felt she was indeed slowly going insane. No one ever even talked to her. She was fed, she was given pot when she wanted to go to the toilet and otherwise she was left absolutely alone. It was only the same empty room, day after day, after day, after day…

* * *

Soon Sakura was reduced to hoping for a miracle. A key lost within her grasping range. An unlocked manacle… But nothing like that ever happened.

Waiting for an opening wasn't going to get her out. Sakura came to a realization that she needed to actively create one.

The Uchiha had checked whether she could heal in those binds. She couldn't, they had succeeded in preventing her to. But they didn't seal her chakra, probably in order not to hinder the course of the pregnancy. She could still excite it. Even if the side effects were overwhelming and Sakura felt as if she was cooking inside, her reserves were there, intact. And Sakura had more than enough chakra on stock…

She could blackmail them…

Sakura waited until the oldest of the guards showed up on duty. With the scar across his cheek he looked a weathered veteran and he seemed to have most authority here.

"I have a proposal," said Sakura in the most levelled voice she could muster. Guards turned their heads towards her in unison.

"A proposal," reiterated Sakura. "You release the chains from the floor and I won't kill the fetus."

In the silence that fell, Sakura reaffirmed her stance. "A fair deal. You want the child healthy and in one piece. I want a relief in my suffering. Just that. Increase the security, put someone here with me all the time. But let me move. Let me get up… I won't try anything; you have my word." Of course, she would try everything that was humanly possible. She would figure something out, of that Sakura was sure. But maybe they thought her weak and naïve enough to buy into her ruse.

The guard laughed straight into Sakura's face. "We know you cannot do anything. You have no cards to play."

His laughter struck a wrong vein in Sakura. Despite her better judgment it got under her skin. "I can't control my chakra – that's all that you've achieved," she said with more anger than she planned. "But do you really think that uncontrolled chakra is less deadly?!" she yelled, mindfully not to look directly into his eyes.

To prove her point, Sakura raised her flow up. It moved through her system in abrupt jolts, like a wind just before the storm – powerful but still coming in distinguishable gusts. She pumped more chakra in. The whirlwind increased its strength. Now Sakura had to fight to sit straight in order to keep up her appearances. A lot depended on the confidence of her performance. Yet her cool was leaving her, the trapped chakra was burning her pathways, her instincts prompting her to take an action, any action, just as she was trained to do.

The guard had his Sharingan on, so Sakura was sure he could see her chakra. Heck, even without Sharingan one would see it – it rattled in her system getting pointlessly reflected inside her body, putting her entire torso into violent shakes. Sakura felt the tiny hair on her forearms stand up.

Gritting her teeth, she increased her output even more. The ends of her hair started to levitate around her shoulders. The air crackled. She was supposed to negotiate but it was getting out of control. She couldn't phrase a rational argument anymore.

"Release me! Or I swear, I will blow a hole in my abdomen!" she screamed.

"There is no one here to heal you. You'll die." The crossed his hands over his chest with nonchalance.

"Will you dare to risk it?"

"Will you?!"

The female guard, who ran in sometime in the middle of their encounter, alarmed by the ruckus, grabbed at shinobi's elbow. "What are you doing?! Don't provoke her!"

The man pushed the girl away, she stumbled and barely caught her balance. "Stop that! What if she really does it?" cried the girl.

"Stay out from it! She's bluffing. She won't do it. And if she does then at least I'll be done with the duty in this shithole once and for all!"

"What are you talking about! He'll kill us if that happens!"

"But she won't do it."

Streams of chakra were beating against Sakura's eardrums from the inside. She wasn't planning on executing her threats, it was supposed to be just a bluff… But her guts were boiling from chakra and anger, and the path of reason looked more and more blurred. "I will!" she screamed. "I will! I will…" Sakura broke off.

 _"…_ _kill..."_ Sounded unspoken in her mind. Kill. Kill… But not the guard. Not the people who had captured and tortured her. Just herself. And that tiny spark of life inside her.

Sakura bent forwards as much as her chains allowed her. She would have gladly bent in two but she couldn't. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…" she moved her lips but her mouth was so dry that the words that came out were almost inaudible. Sakura closed her eyes and slumped her shoulders as her chakra slowly swayed back to balance.

"See, I've told you she won't do it," said the guard, but Sakura paid him no heed. She was too preoccupated with her thoughts. By the fact that she had almost killed it. The only thing that she could call her own in this damned place. Her own. Her child. Thick tears rolled down Sakura's cheeks.

* * *

The child in her was growing. She couldn't feel it yet, but she surely felt different. She started to have thoughts about it. Will it be a boy or a girl? How will it look like? What will be its hair colour? Eye colour?

Those thoughts were occupying more and more of her time. The hair and eyes would probably be Uchiha-black, Sakura assumed. Not that her light colouring would manage to shine through. But will she ever know? Will they let her see it? Will it be better if she never does? She heard that if you separate a young from its mother immediately after the birth, both suffer less. At least that's what farmers said about their animals. Nevertheless, Sakura was convinced she would want to see it. No matter the cost. But would they allow it?

Sakura bit her lip - they would never allow her to hold it, that thing was sure. They were keeping her hands shackled so that she couldn't even touch her belly. No way they would let her touch the newborn.

When she came to this realization for the first time, she cried. She sobbed so much that her female guards came in to attend her and couldn't calm her down for an hour.

She sobbed when, despite her efforts, she ended up thinking about it for the second time. And for third and fourth time as well. When she thought about it for the fifth time she managed to contain the tears. Tears were bothersome, she would get running nose and have troubles breathing all night. And need to call for assistance to blow her nose. So, she started to rock herself. Rocking was helping.

Until she imagined that she could be rocking a child in her arms. Then she started crying again.

She thought about other things as well. What would happen to her child? From the effort the Uchiha clan was putting into having it come to this world, Sakura assumed it was very precious for them. And for which other purpose would a child be important to the Uchiha if not for war? They were expecting her child to have a power that was otherwise inaccessible to them. What would they do to her child? They would bring it up to be a ninja that's for sure, but would they see it as any other kid? Or rather as a tool, as a weapon? How would they treat it?

Sakura knew how early children were sent onto the battlefield, what kind of treatment they were receiving to prepare them for war. She was spared most of it, being a girl and the only child. But Sakura was lucid enough to notice she wasn't treated as most of her peers. Her mother saw her as her successor and had put lots of effort in tutoring her. To her mother, she wasn't expendable. She was the one and only daughter she would ever have, the last legacy of her late husband.

But other kids didn't have such privileges. Especially those without parents. Those ones were treated worst. Sakura's child won't have a mother to shield it from the harm… No mother to protest when father applies too harsh of a training. No mother to wipe the tears. No mother to oppose deeming it ready for war.

How would it grow up? Would there be a woman caring for it as for her own? Or would the woman nursing it only think about it as of a Senju bastard? Or, even worse, a weapon?

Some days later Sakura finally verbalized that, what was rattling in the corners of her mind for some time already. What if she never succeeds in getting out? What should be her priority in such a case? Should she even prioritize herself? Or should she… Before she even managed to formulate a thought, Sakura started to weep. Once it is born, the child will be all alone there. Out of her reach. She should… She should do something about that. Until she still could.

Her child wasn't going to be an orphan, even if they dispose of her. It had a father. An Uchiha father.

* * *

"Can I talk to that other man?" asked Sakura the women when they were giving her supper.

"The other guard? He will be on duty tomorrow."

"No, the other one… The man that…" Raped me? Impregnated me? What was she supposed to say? "The father of the child," said Sakura finally and the words felt so alien on her tongue.

The younger of the women halted a spoon in mid-air.

"Why?" asked the older guard.

"I have something to tell him."

The woman stared at her, visibly unimpressed by her explanation.

"Can you tell him this? When you see him? Please." Sakura held older woman's gaze. "Please. This one thing, can you do this for me?"

It took a toll on Sakura to decide on this meeting. It was now taking even more to be forced to beg. But her mind was set. If there was someone here with whom she had a shred of common interest, it was that man.

She made quite some work to convince herself to do it. She had gone through her memories of the rape time after another, looking for cues. And she found some. He seemed not to get much pleasure from the act. It seemed that he didn't even enjoy being there. Maybe he was acting on the orders. He was rather young, so who knew where in the clan hierarchy did he stand. Yes, Sakura kept telling herself, that was a plausible scenario, and the one she would hold on to. A good narrative to believe in, the one that would help her get on with her plan.

"I don't think I can say anything that would influence him," the guard answered carefully.

It was then, when Sakura realized what was the problem – the woman was scared. Shit scared. Maybe she also should be. Maybe it wasn't such a great plan. But she had no other.

"Tell him that it's also his child," Sakura insisted nevertheless. "Tell him that he is its father and he should come and see it. See me... Find him. Tell him, please..."

The guard escaped with her eyes and didn't say anything more throughout the rest of her duty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and please let me know your thoughts!
> 
> Once again, thank you for all the reviews, they are so helpful!


	6. Chapter 6

Sakura was very skeptical on whether her plea worked.

But then he came. Three days after her request he just walked through the door and sat down in the same formal distance as during their first meeting. He didn't say anything, not even a greeting -apparently waiting for her to start. It seemed that he wasn't a man of many words.

Sakura gulped. His appearance took her by surprise, and even though she had her statement prepared she needed a moment to gather her thoughts. And get her feelings under control. She underestimated the emotional impact seeing him would have on her. "Thank you that you've come," she managed finally.

"It surprised me when they've told me that you wanted to see me. But of course. Is there something that you need?"

Sakura fidgeted. _Need_? She would need to get out of here. But that wasn't the purpose of this meeting. "Well," Sakura hesitated for a moment. Even if she abhorred it, she had a duty to fulfill. "I would want that you keep coming here."

The man furrowed his brows. "Why?"

Sakura didn't avert her eyes. She was thinking about how to phrase it for a very long time. "This." She gestured down with her chin at her belly. "That what happened… What you did… Apart from this being abominable, it also makes you responsible. For the child and for me. And I will hold you to the responsibility."

"I would never flinch away from responsibility. And neither from the child nor from you. I simply assumed you won't want to ever see me again."

"It's not that I particularly want to see you. But I don't have many options here. I don't know what do you want to do with this child, but that's pretty clear I won't be part of it. I won't be part of life of _my own_ child. Then I should better make sure it has a father. I want you to be coming here, to see it grow. I want you to support me. I want you to..." Sakura blinked her tears away and fought to keep her voice even. "To get to know me, so you can tell this child something about me when it asks… You owe me this."

"I owe you a lot. I will do whatever you require from me."

Sakura nodded and looked down. "Even if it's complete violation of my will, this…" She made a tiny hand gesture at her belly as the shackles didn't allow for more. "Binds us togethers. If this child survives and has its own offspring… Then it's you and me, intertwined, connected, together, until the end of the world… That's an intimidating perspective." Sakura looked up. "We should better not screw it up. More than it already is screwed up."

The man pursed his lips.

"Even if you want to say that you're sorry, it's too late for that."

He glimpsed up to her. Sakura chuckled with satisfaction – she had read him well. "It had the worst possible beginning. Now it's up to us to make it acceptable."

"You mean it's up to me?" he asked.

"No. The burden is again on me. I have to somehow… manage to forgive you… If I even can. Or manage without forgiving… I don't know yet… And I don't know how. But I will have to. I don't want my child to be born from and into hate."

The man nodded.

Sakura took a deep breath. "Then… What's your name? I guess that's how it usually starts…" she added through a clenched throat.

"Madara."

"Like: 'spotted'? That's a strange concept."

"I guess it was supposed to refer to my character…"

"Oh. That's…" Sakura hesitated, "unsettling. And does it fit you?"

"I don't know… Maybe it does." He paused and it seemed to Sakura he was gathering courage. "What is your name?"

"Sakura."

The man, Madara, cracked a smile, the pressure visibly gone from him. "Well, that's at least quite obvious why."

"Yeah... This hair colour is one of the kind, I know."

"Do you know where did it come from?"

"My mother is blond. My father also had an unusual hair colour, but his was light blue. How it ended up as pink in me, I have no idea…"

"You should consider yourself lucky that it's not green…"

"Right." Sakura sighed and then glimpsed at him. "We're doing well, aren't we? We sounded almost normal."

* * *

He turned out to be cooperating enough. Accommodating even. He wouldn't put up any resistance. All the resistance she had to fight was inside of her. Thinking about him made her stomach clench. She tried not dwelling on the memories of the rape, but still… She remembered. She remembered how he moved when he was inside her, those few touches, a faint smell. She wanted it fade away already but it was still there.

Yet, she needed to keep forcing herself to see him. She had told him to come again in couple of days. Well, at least she had something to think about. Even if she anticipated that the event would be unpleasant, she had something to wait for. That was a huge difference.

* * *

"Tell me something about the outside." Sakura was sincere in her quest for establishing a bond between them. But it didn't hurt to pump him for some intel. "I'm going crazy out of boredom here. Imagine how it is not to have any stimuli for months!"

"I can imagine. Or maybe I cannot. But I can't tell you anything."

"Why?"

"You are taken seriously. Any more information and the security will only be heightened."

"Then we won't have much to talk about," concluded Sakura sourly.

"Well, you can tell me about yourself…" he must have notice her stiffening up because he corrected himself. "Or about how are you doing…"

Sakura considered. She should talk. If he was here and was asking, she should talk. "Well, 'doing' is completely wrong expression, if you know what I mean." She raised her hands to make the chains clatter. "But health-wise that's been already quite a change. I had a lot of morning sickness last weeks." It felt odd to tell such private details to a stranger. She will need to get used to it. Or rather acknowledge that he wasn't a stranger. "Now it's slowly getting better, but it was quite awful for a time. They really had their hands full with me." She chuckled at the memory of her female guards changing the bedsheets twice a day and taking shifts holding the bucket for her.

"I've heard that when the unpleasantries are so hard on the mother then it means the child is strong. That it is fighting out a space within you."

"Makes sense, somehow... I've heard that it happens a lot when the parents come from very different lineages. Like, outside the clan… We would fit the bill there…"

Madara looked at her carefully, as if she said something relevant. She didn't understand why, she just stated the obvious, they _were_ from different clans.

* * *

Sakura kept wondering about the purpose of the whole undertaking. She still couldn't figure out why did the Uchiha need this child. This issue started to dominate her thoughts.

She had never heard about Uchiha hunting for kekkei genkai. They were too proud for that, too convinced about their superiority. Too pompous.

Senju were different. They adopted children, formed alliances. Cheated their allies if need be. All for the benefit of the clan.

And she could imagine that for once, the famed Uchihas' beauty was doing them a disservice when it came to practicalities of bloodline-stealing. You couldn't simply plant a kunoichi in disguise in a brothel or in a crossroads tavern. Anyone would recognize an Uchiha woman even if he had never seen one in his life.

She also wondered why her. They were not after the medical jutsu. She still remembered how that young captain, whatever was his name, cringed when told she was a med-nin.

And Senju didn't have any kekkei genkai. Sure, their chakra levels and vitality were something extraordinary, but even in this aspect the Uzumaki clan vastly exceeded the Senju. If they were after high chakra they should have gone after an Uzumaki woman.

Sakura still remembered the day she had seen Naruto's mum for the first time – her chakra was so fiery and powerful that Sakura half expected the floor to start smoking underneath her feet. She was happy that Naruto's chakra was not that abrasive, him being half-Uzumaki due to his father, even though hailed one-in-generation prodigy, coming from simple fisherfolk in the Uzushio's territory. Otherwise Sakura wouldn't have stand living with Naruto on a longer run. Kushina-san, even if nice and friendly, was a bit of an overwhelming presence.

* * *

"If you really want me to tell the child about you, we need to talk. You do realize that the information won't get transferred otherwise."

Sakura nodded. "I do. But I suppose you do realize it is difficult." She wanted, she really to talk to him. But each time she needed to force herself.

Madara shrugged. "Any ideas how to make it easier?"

"Ask me questions. I cannot start chatting with you spontaneously, but maybe I could answer. Just… start with easy ones."

"What do you mean by easy?"

"Superficial. Likes and dislikes, for example. Nothing too personal, please."

"Alright. So, what do you prefer: ninjutsu, genjutsu or taijutsu?"

Sakura considered her answer for a second. Sure, she loved the intricacies of complex jutsus, the marvelous effects they had, put nothing could compare to the satisfaction of pummeling an opponent into the ground. "Taijutsu," she said. She saw Madara arching his eyebrow as if it wasn't the answer he expected. "But really? Out of all things to ask this is the first that comes to your mind? Geez… Just have in mind that those should be things that would interest a small child. Something simple. Like colours, foods…"

"Your favourite colour, then?"

Sakura held down a sigh. He was obediently playing along, but he really wasn't in a correct mindset for that. They were both playing along – the game that none of them really signed up for. "Green," she answered nevertheless. She needed to keep on trying. "But I like red as well. But not this bright, blood-red, but the deeper shade, more of the colour of…"

"Internal organs?" suggested Madara helpfully.

Sakura cringed. "Yes. Actually, exactly that colour." She couldn't help thinking that he probably was used to seeing internal organs in quite different context than she was.

When she didn't say anything more, Madara prompted her again. "Favourite food?"

"Anything sweet." The mildly condescending grimace on Madara's face made her self-conscious. "I know it's unhealthy and childish, but still…" Sakura paused, remembering the taste of daifuku that she adored as a child. She would even sneak the prepared anko filling out of the pantry. During every holiday she would have made raucous to get double portion and she remembered that her mother sometimes conceded especially when she was exhausted after the entire day in the healer's house. That made her pause. Sakura bit her lip considering. "If it turns out that our child likes sweets too much… Just make sure it doesn't eat it too often..."

Madara jerked his head as if she said something that shocked him.

"Especially not before going to bed. Kids have trouble falling asleep then," she finished trying to sound professionally and fend off the emotions that were sneaking into her voice. "Will you… Will you be even the one taking care of it when it is small?"

"I don't know yet. But probably not."

Sakura felt tears welling up in her eyes. Why was she even doing this? Then she berated herself mentally. That was exactly why. To make him build a bond with this child, before it's given away and she loses all influence on its life. That's how she can care for it, even now, even in her current situation.

And it was only a back-up plan anyway, Sakura reminded herself. Plan A was to escape. She will find a way out.

With her resolve renewed she looked Madara in the eye making it known she awaited another prompt.

He seemed to be thinking about the next question, as he ran out of her suggestions. He looked quite miserable; it was clear that he was trying, but was completely out of his element.

It occurred to Sakura that she should maybe buy him some time. He shouldn't get discouraged or upset; else he would stop cooperating. "How are you planning to remember all that I say?" she asked. "Will you write it down?"

"I don't need to remember. Sharingan records everything I see. It's _impossible_ to forget."

"Oh," said Sakura. She didn't know Uchihas' eyes worked like that. "Oh. In such a case, if they are _recorded_ … Is there a way for other people to access those memories?"

"So far not," he said slowly, narrowing his eyes. "You were thinking about letting our child see you?"

Sakura nodded with all the energy she could produce. Until two seconds ago, she never thought something like that would be possible but now… There was nothing in the world she wanted more.

"Maybe… maybe there will be a way," he said pensively and his eyes lost focus as if he was looking at something in the distance. "It would require a completely novel jutsu, but… never say never."

Sakura licked her lips. "Just… If you ever succeed, don't let the child see me like that – in a prison cell, chained to the floor. Don't let it see me a victim. Show only my face…"

He nodded and Sakura started to fear that the silence that followed was as uncomfortable for him as it was for her.

But she must have been wrong as the reason for the pause became evident when he shot a question at her: "Favourite season?"

Sakura let out a small laughter. His relief with coming up with something was a bit too obvious. "Spring," she replied mustering some seriousness.

"Why?"

Sakura jerked her head at the first forwardness that came from him but provided the answer anyway. "Because of my birthday. And because of flowers…" She paused and willed herself to say something more. It was in the end her initiative to begin with, so she should be glad he was taking it seriously. "I like flowers, especially when they sprout and grow," she added, "and you see how they strive towards the light… They have so much hope. Spring is for hope, for life beating death, you know? That's why I like it."

Madara shook his head. "Amazing how similar…"

"What is similar?"

"Your answer to the one I would give to this question."

"You also like spring best?"

"No. I like winter. The deepest part of it."

"Then how is this similar?"

"On the solstice when the days stop getting shorter - it's exactly then when the light breaks the darkness. The turning point. It's also about hope." He broke off and Sakura had an impression he wanted to add something. But he never did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and please share your thoughts with me :)


	7. Chapter 7

Three meeting later, meetings that they spent iterating between awkward silences and bursts of trivia exchange, he brought shogi. A board and the pieces. Sakura couldn't believe her own eyes - finally, after months of debilitating boredom, some real entertainment.

"Do you know how to play?" he asked assembling the board. "Or should we go through the rules?"

Sakura wet her lips with excitement. "I know the rules." She still couldn't believe this. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

Madara didn't acknowledge her heartfelt thanks in any way, focused on arranging the pieces on the board.

"I haven't played since many years, so I'm quite rusty," he admitted.

"Neither have I."

"We'll get back into shape together then." Madara picked up five piece and tossed them to determine the playing order. "Three to two. You start."

"Pawn from G7 to F7." Sakura started with an opening she remembered. She wasn't sure if she could recall the entire opening sequence, but as far as she knew it was a versatile one.

Madara answered with his move. As far as Sakura could tell it wasn't the by-the-book response. A dozen or so moves into the game and Sakura was sure that he wasn't playing according to set strategies. But it didn't mean his moves were not calculated. He was taking his sweet time before he made a decision. Sakura thought she, herself would have long ran out of patience if she was to play as he was. But as she was the opponent, deliberating on which way he would go was keeping it interesting. Most of the times he would surprising her with the move he chose.

He was playing recklessly. Bold, daring tactics, balancing on the edge of unreasonable. But they were surprisingly effective, especially at first. Sakura never knew what to expect from him. He won the first game.

During the second one, Sakura felt both her routine and her instincts coming back. And she was able to analyze many, many moves into the future. Knowing to expect the unexpected from him, Sakura gained a moderate advantage in the middle of the board.

They were half way through the game, when Madara announced: "I'm sorry, but I will need to go now."

"No!" protested Sakura feeling a painful pang of disappointment in her chest. Disappointment caused by him leaving. It puzzled her, so she clamped her mouth shut.

He must have seen her dejection. "I'll try to be back the day after tomorrow. Alright?"

Sakura nodded. "But leave the board, I want to continue this game. I'm having an advantage right now!"

Madara smirked. "Think so? But I cannot leave it. I don't want to check what you can accomplish with a wooden board and entire forty pieces."

Sakura bit down a curse. She for sure could find some good uses for those pieces. She already started to think what would happen to the wood if she imbued it with chakra… Could she maybe pull off the same trick as that new jutsu Hashi was trying to develop? When she last saw him, he was attempting to bring old timber back to life, to have it grow and sprout. He was consulting her about the healing chakra over and over when working on it.

"And you would have had an unfair advantage, staring at the board for two full days." Madara cracked a smile. He stood up and gingerly picked up the board, careful not to relocate the pieces. "I'll put it on the corridor, we can continue when I come back."

* * *

"I'm feel so miserable. All the time. I cannot take it anymore, I'm going crazy. There is no one here, no one that would comfort me, no one to hold me when I cry. No one to give me consolation, even if a meaningless one. No one even touches me! When they wash me it's under genjutsu. Do you have any idea how it feels like, when you're deprived of any contact?! No one has held me since half year. No friendly touch, no friendly words..."

He was watching her with pinched brows. Discomfort plain on his face. Guilt. Shame. _'Why did you even do that to me, if it makes you feel like this. What was that incentive of yours that it was so strong?'_ It made her shiver again. But he was here, and he was the only one she could somewhat influence. The only one who would do what she asked him for. The only one who wasn't afraid of her. For whom her well-being wasn't a complete waste of time. "Can you hold me?"

"You want that? Really?" She might learn to find joy in that bewildered look on his face.

Sakura gulped. "Really." It was sort of a jump into very deep water, but maybe it will help. Maybe it will get easier. If he touches her in a way she wants and allows, maybe this stiffness that she always felt in his presence will dissipate. They still had long months to go.

Madara pressed himself between her and the wall and tried lifting her on his lap. The chains on her wrists strained and she had to slump her shoulders to reduce the painful tension.

"Not like that, it hurts."

He shifted and opened his legs so that she was still sitting on the futon, but nestled between his thighs. Instead on the wall, she could now lean against his chest. He closed his arms around her waist, placing them deliberately only in very proper areas. "Is it ok?"

Sakura nodded. She didn't get stiff; thank gods for that angry twist of her wrists – it diverted her attention in the critical moment, and now the feel of warm human body behind her was more than enough to make her melt.

He started to gently rock her.

"Don't do it or I will cry."

"Then cry."

"No. It's an awful mess. I cannot blow my nose and then it's all stuck and I can't breathe at night. And you don't have a handkerchief with you, I guess?" She tried to joke.

"No. But you can always blow your nose in my shirt."

"No! That's disgusting."

"Not more disgusting then other things. That's nothing in comparison to the thing I did to you. Just cry if you want to."

* * *

He didn't show any form of interest in her, at least not in a sexual way. Coming to think about it, he hadn't showed any even back then, when he raped her. He just went through the motions. Sakura still couldn't decide if it was for better or worse.

On the side of worse was that it made her even more an object. Even the most superficial attribute of being a person – sexual attractiveness – was negated. She was a tool.

But on the other hand, it seemed he treated himself in exactly the same manner. At least he wasn't a hypocrite.

If he was treating everyone like this, then it was even a duller prospect for the child than she originally assumed. Will she be able to move his heart? Sakura knew that children were only theoretical concepts for most men. It was partially explainable through physiology itself, but shinobi culture didn't promote interaction of young children with their fathers until they were old enough to train.

Maybe all fathers regarded their children as tools? She wouldn't know, she had never met her father. But Butsuma surely saw Hashi and Tobi as extensions of his hands. He didn't allow them any free will. Sakura knew how hard it was for Hashirama.

Sakura remembered all the times she had to mend Hashi's bones. She was only six and barely having started with practice on dead fish, when he got dragged to her by Tobi for the first time. His nose was broken. Sakura did such a bad job that her mother's apprentice caught them on the bloodied kitchen floor following Hashi's screaming. Shizune corrected Sakura's sloppy work and kept quiet about the whole incident. Sakura still remembered Tobirama's condescending glare, telling her: "a lesson learned: never come to this one in the future".

But then it was the nose again, a fractured forearm when he tried blocking the blow, the jaw, and - as recently as three years ago – a full-blown concussion. Butsuma at that point was long physically inferior, but it didn't stop him from imposing his will in the usual way. And Hashirama was too good of a son to fight back.

It always amazed Sakura how quickly was Hashi healing. As if he was not an animal but a plant – you could cut parts from him and he would sprout them back in a different place. And same went with his character. He was not to be diverted once he made up his mind. No matter how often he got beaten for his ideals, he still held to them.

Sakura had made a solemn vow to herself that she wouldn't let her children to be beaten. At that point of time she knew she might not have much of a say in the choice of her husband. But all political alliances be damned if she would ever let anyone put a finger on her child.

Wonder now if she could keep this promise to the one inside her… But Madara didn't strike her as a type that would physically harm a weaker. He also didn't seem prone to anger… With how calculating and composed he was he looked more the type that would resort to cold psychological terror and manipulation, Sakura sighed.

Maybe… it was better? She would convince herself it was better. Beatings caused mental damage as well. Psychological violence at least would leave the body intact.

* * *

They fell into a certain routine. They would play three games of shogi, so that the winner of a day was clear and afterwards he would hold her. The lack of any sexual undertones was making her more relaxed by each time.

"Can you touch my belly?" It also made it easier for her to voice her requests. "They wouldn't let me, and I want to stroke the baby. I've always imagined that I will have this special insight into my child's development, that I will be able to sense and probe with chakra its entire development, that I would really see it grow inside me… Now I cannot…"

He put his hand where her belly was already round and stroked carefully up and down. "Mhmm… That's so nice…" Sakura closed her eyes while he kept his hand there. It was warm and fitted so well there. After a while an even bolder idea came to Sakura's mind. "Can you touch the belly directly?

With hesitation he put his hand under her dress, cautious not to lift it in any way. He was even looking in another direction not to peek. Yes, Sakura decided, making him uncomfortable was definitely fun. But feeling a hand on her skin was even better. He rubbed a small center around the center of her belly.

"Are you a sensor, per chance?" asked Sakura.

"Only very average."

"Are you able to probe with chakra?"

"No. But if you would tell me how… I am hailed as a fast learner, even among the Uchiha."

"Expel chakra from your palm and make sure it is evenly distributed throughout entire space you're projecting it into. Then put the hand back on me, and, how should I describe it? You will see where something is different and a certain mental image of the shape should form in your head… At least that's how it works for me? Just try," encouraged Sakura seeing his indecision.

"I don't know. My chakra… It's rather corrosive, at least that's what people say. I wouldn't want to do something wrong."

"If you control the amount you expel, nothing wrong will happen. A little bit of chakra never hurt anyone."

"I think you're overestimating me. I don't want to practice a new jutsu on my own unborn child."

Sakura saddened. But he was probably right.

"But I can do something else." Madara switched his Sharingan on. "I can see its chakra pathways this way."

"And what do you see?" Sakura fidgeted in excitement.

"Looks like a tiny human. The flare is very bright. But the head… Is it normal it's so big?"

Sakura laughed. "Yes, it's normal. Have you never seen a newborn? They have really large heads. And earlier the proportions are even more skewed."

"So, you think it's healthy and alright?"

"Of course, it is."

"It's so strange to see it already. Before it's born. It makes you realize we're parents already… I don't think I am very good in that."

"But you will be. No one knows how to do it at the beginning. You'll manage just fine. And if it would make you feel any better – I had my low moments as well."

"You?" laughed Madara as if she told a joke. "What kind of moments?"

"At the very beginning… I… Once I had this idea, to blackmail the guards into letting me get up. I threatened them that I will kill the baby… I didn't mean to, but then this guard started to mock me and since my chakra was already up and so disturbed… I lost control… I almost killed it… It was haunting me ever since." Sakura sniffed. "I guess I just wanted to tell it to someone. You see, I am a horrible mother myself. But I will keep trying."

Madara didn't comment just reinforced his hold on her. "You're a great mother, as far as I can tell," he reassured and patted her arm. "Which guard was it?" he asked after a while in a semi-interested tone, that in retrospect managed to fool her completely.

"That one with the scar. Why?"

"Just curious. That was a grave misestimation of the situation on his side, wouldn't want something like this to happened on the battlefield," shrugged Madara.

She almost forgot about this part of conversation until several days late she realized that the guard with the scar missed his usual duty day and never showed up again. The remaining jailers, on the other hand, started to give her dirty but terrified looks when they thought she couldn't see.

Sakura's blood first froze in her veins when she realized. And then sped up with rush of newly found awareness of power.

* * *

"Why are you crying?"

"I have a thousand reasons to cry." He was invested in her deep enough that Sakura stopped being considerate of his comfort. Even if he wasn't inclined to improve her captivity conditions, he was at least good for providing an emotional outlet. And recently Sakura was just using it. "But I was thinking about my family. I usually try not to, but today I failed in pushing those thoughts away… They must be looking for me, they must go out of their mind from worry. My brother, he's the type that would never, ever give up. I'm afraid that my disappearance re-defined his life. That he will spend it chasing after my shadow."

"I didn't know you have a brother."

"A foster-brother. But it doesn't matter. We would jump into fire for each other. Do you know what it's like?! Do you have siblings?"

"Yes, I do."

"Then how would you feel if you'd ruin your sibling's future?! If you'd mark them for life?"

Madara pursed his lips. "If it is any consolation – they are not looking for you."

Sakura stare. "How do you know?"

"I know."

"How?"

Madara looked down, and kept his eyes hidden for a long while. "After we took you, a burnt corpse of a young girl was deposited on the battlefield. Dressed in your clothing," he delivered the description in the most emotionless way possible, but Sakura still shuddered in horror.

* * *

"Tell me something. Tell me something about the outside. Please?" With every week passing it was getting more difficult. And even if she knew that begging won't get her anywhere, sometimes she just couldn't control herself.

"I cannot."

"What time of the year is it? Is it summer? I guess it should be summer… What's the weather like…?"

Madara shook his head.

"Last year there was such an awful drought…" finished Sakura in barely audible voice. She is going to cry any moment now. "Please, tell me something, anything… I am going crazy here… Why can't you?"

"Because I am taking you seriously. You are an opponent be reckoned with. I appreciate your abilities and your intelligence and I am not giving you any tools."

Sakura hung her head low.

"Could you bring me a book…? A scroll to read?"

"I cannot bring you anything. Same reasons."

"I won't survive this. I cannot. I will go insane." She struggled against her bonds even if it was absolute waste of energy.

Madara leaned over her and looked into her eyes.

Sakura clenched them shut. "No! Not another genjutsu! I don't want!"

"Why? You can see something this way. Experience something."

"The things that you forcibly put it my head?! Do you imagine I would want it? Last time it was so much too much!" They've never touched that topic so far. It was the only time when Sakura thought she glimpsed some of his sentiments and it made her uncomfortable - otherwise he was so composed and focused on the goal. And it was fine with her. It was easier to deal with him if she operated under assumption that she was just an instrument for him. A valuable, important, maybe high-maintenance and challenging to handle, but an instrument. Knowing that this situation may have an emotional impact on him as well wasn't something she was taking into account.

"I'm sorry. I'll… I'll adjust it better this time. Give it a chance."

It sounded like a plea and Sakura's eyes fluttered open in surprise. Spinning Sharingan sucked her in before she managed to close her eyes again.

She was a young girl, seven-year-old or so. At her parental home, in a peaceful village she was spending her time playing outside. The neighbours' boy had spiky black hair, as black as his eyes and too many ideas for his own good. Together they explored meadows, climbed trees, caught fish in the river. They were growing up together, season after season, year after year. Every day, with every fiber of her being, she loved him, her companion from as far as she could remember.

When she woke up from the genjutsu, her eyes were wet and her heart was fluttering from a never known emotion. Next four days she was turning this story around in her head, cherishing the details – the scent of blooming orchard in the spring evening, the feeling of a scratched knee, his voice calling her out through the window of her bedroom when he would come to pick her up. The memory of love pulsated in her brain, even if it was not a love that she, Sakura, ever experienced.

.

"Was it also too much?" Was the first thing he asked, when he came couple of days later. "I've made it shallower - since I knew your system already, I could dose better it. I tried not to put too much strain on you." He was talking around the topic. It was not the intensity of the genjutsu that was the point of contention. But apparently, he wasn't brave enough to touch the real issue.

"I noticed; I didn't have a headache afterwards." Neither was Sakura. "It was just fine." And it was just fine to know that he wanted something else from her, in the end. And, though it surprised Sakura to no end, it was also good to know that maybe she wasn't just a tool for him.

"And did you… like it?"

Sakura successfully held in a giggle - so he dared in the end. "Yes. Yes, I did," she admitted escaping with her eyes to the side.

.

In the next weeks she lived innumerable lives.

When she was crossing the bridge, she slipped and he jumped into the river to her rescue and carried her to the village on his back.

He was one of the two boys competing for attention, and he would go to any length to win her attention over his rival.

Late at night, she was attacked by some thugs and he defended her.

He was travelling and she was waiting for him. In long letters from every town he visited he kept assuring her of his feelings for her.

For her birthday, he showed up with a box full of those cute hair trinkets she never had money for but always secretly desired.

In the deep of winter, he would hold her palms between his own so to warm them up.

* * *

And then he was gone. After a week Sakura noticed that his absence was longer than usual. After two, she started to be anxious. After three she was panicked. The worst scenarios were playing out in her head. Him dead, wounded, captured. Or, worst of all, turning away from her. Rational part of her mind was telling her that for sure his absence has external reasons and if she must worry, then she should worry about his well-being. The progressively crazy part – that she did something wrong and he didn't want to see her ever again.

So, when after a month of absence, he finally stood in the cell's door Sakura exploded. "Where have you been?! Where have you been all that time?" In her turmoil she failed to really look at him. Only when he was half way through the room she noticed that something was off with his movements.

He approached and sat down on his usual place. Even from the distance Sakura could smell how he stung.

She gulped. "Where were you?" she asked with more restraint. He was clearly worn down, probably chakra-depleted, if not wounded.

"On a campaign."

"So long?"

"It was a long campaign."

Sakura nodded. Why did she react with anger? As if she felt entitled to things. Like his presence. That was ridiculous. Sakura shook her head to dispel the negativity. He was back and only that mattered.

He wouldn't tell her anything so there was no point in further questions.

"Hold me," she said instead. "Please, hold me."

In his embrace she couldn't control her tears anymore. "I thought that you would never come back. I thought the worst things. And when I asked the guards to call you, they would say it was pointless. I was afraid. I was so afraid."

He didn't say anything only tightened his embrace. His hand was on her belly and he stroke it.

"It has grown when I was away," he stated. "How are you feeling?"

"I… I don't know. I was so focused on being nervous. But I feel it moving now. Keep your hand there and maybe you'll feel it as well. It doesn't do it often but if you're patient and pay attention…"

"Maybe later? Tomorrow? I need to go now."

"Already?" Sakura couldn't keep disappointment from her voice. "But you've just come."

"I really need to eat something and get some sleep."

"At this hour?" It wasn't even midday as far as Sakura know – she wasn't given her lunch yet.

"I don't care what hour it is."

He stood up and now she could clearly see he wasn't stable on his feet.

When he left, she could overhear snippets of scandalized whispers of her female guards.

"I thought they were expected in three days only?"

"He came before the rest of the host. No wonder he looks like he'd fall anytime."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and please let tell me what do you think about this chapter!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a re-written version of Chapter 8.
> 
> After reading all the reactions for this chapter, I came to the conclusion that I failed to convey what I wanted *headdesk* So, here's a re-write - the chapter has been put on a strict carbohydrate-free diet ;) and hopefully it's less sweet now.
> 
> I'm really very sorry for the mess and confusion (and a good deal ashamed as well), and I hope it won't be super boring for those who had already read it once. I also learned that some people really liked the cuteness of the previous version, and I thought it not fair to just delete it so I posted it already on my tumblr (my nick is olliya).

At this point of time Sakura was convinced that she meant a good deal to him. He never told her directly – maybe he couldn't because of the guards, maybe he thought it would have ruined his image – but his genjutsu were sufficient proof.

That wasn't something Sakura had aimed for when she initiated the contact with him. She counted, at best, on him developing feelings for their unborn child. Yet here she was - if she made many, many mental corrections - loved. At least in some way.

She cherished that realization, kept turning it in her hands, like a shiny item from a treasure chest. She was important to someone. She managed to experience this despite her life being taken away from her. And she would lie if she said that this feeling didn't make her warm inside. Pity though that whatever affection he developed towards her didn't change his attitude to her captivity. He seemed to be able to separate his feelings from his actions. A true ninja indeed.

But the more he was showing her his attachment while not taking any actions that would end her imprisonment, the more desperate and distraught Sakura felt. If that didn't change things, what else would?! Will she die in this dungeon? Or will she be left here to rot?

The more scared she was, the hungrier for experiences she was becoming. She felt time ticking away, time of a relative happiness, when she still had her child with her. Once it is gone, there will be no joy for her in the world. Even if he, driven by his guilt, kept visiting her after the birth, it wouldn't be the same. Now, she could still in certain way enjoying his presence. His visits were the only entertainment during the bleakness of her days. And maybe there was still something more she could experience thanks to him…?

"In these genjutsu… It's always you and me…" Sakura was in relatively high spirits today, and she decided to test their waters a bit further.

"You don't like it? Should I show you something else?"

Sakura held back an urge to roll her eyes - he was always so endlessly careful with her, willing to follow all her requests. Except for those that really mattered. Sometimes Sakura wished he wasn't so apologetic, that he would act more... normal? She suspected that he wasn't like that around other people. Heck, she was sure of it, judging from the guards' reactions. Will he ever show her his real face? And what if she wanted to feel something more to him? How could she if all she was watching was a facade?

The only glimpse of something different from that protective reverence was his first genjutsu. She still didn't know what motivated him to shape it the way he did. Maybe in it he was closer to his real self?

And a certain curiosity was rising in Sakura. There was already so much of physical proximity - that of an unthreatening, benign kind - that it covered the memories of the rape with a thick layer. The physical contact long stopped being repulsive. Now it was becoming intriguing, as Sakura knew there was an entire, vast territory, they were never setting foot on, just a few touches away.

"Some diversity wouldn't be bad, but that's not what I wanted to say." Sakura chewed at her bottom lip. Now, to open up the way she intended to, required courage. To motivate herself Sakura brought this almost suffocating, heady feeling from the genjutsu to her memory. There was such an urgency to push faster and harder... Will it feel similar in reality? Will she also want _more_ once it begins? She felt blood directing to her cheeks. "I only wondered, why that first genjutsu was so different from all the others…"

"Meaning?"

"The ones you show me now are so… pure." Sakura weighted the next words. "And that first one - wasn't…"

"I apologize." Madara got serious. "I didn't have it thought through very well back then. I acted on an impulse. I shouldn't have put my own sentiments into it. I, mistakenly, believed that it would have made you feel better at that point of time."

 _'Ha! His own sentiments!'_ But as usual Madara was thinking the terms of his guilt. Sakura really missed the ability to gesticulate. "No! It's not like that… It wasn't a complaint! I don't know how I would I have felt without it. So maybe it did make me feel better." Sakura bit her lip - now it was time to take the plunge. "Why don't you ever show me anything like that now?"

"I don't want to hurt you any further."

"I have been hurt. There is no erasing of it. But it doesn't mean that everything regarding this sphere has to be harm. In fact, I don't want this entire sphere to be harm. I don't want this harm to be all that I will ever experience. I don't want this to be the only thing I know…"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want to have only bad experiences. I don't want to know how it is like only under coercion." Sakura glanced up. "Is it still not clear? Do I really have to be even more literal?!" She added in irritation.

Madara was staring.

"Why do you look at me like that? Was that act so disgusting to you?" she mocked.

"Yes, it was disgusting. And each time I see you I am reminded about what I did."

Sakura turned her head away. She wished she could stand up and leave because she only had a certain amount of courage to pursue this topic.

"I understand your desire but there is currently nothing I can do about it." Madara was still not getting her point.

"You don't understand anything!"

"Apparently I don't. Then explain it."

Sakura took a deep breath. She shouldn't be ashamed around him if they were about to do it. They should be able talk about such things. Especially when she would need to convey everything through words - how she would want him to touch her, where... Sakura imagined how would it feel if Madara touched her somewhere else than around the waist. How would her breasts feel under his hands? She remembered that when they started growing, she used to touch them in the privacy of her room and it felt… peculiar. She had a vague idea that being touched by a man would feel like heaven. Maybe there was somewhere a small, tiny heaven which they can reach even their situation? "Circumstances don't matter that much as the attitude matters, right? In can be anywhere, anyhow, as long as I freely decide that it's what I want… If I decide, then it changes everything. Even here and now. If only… if it's fine with you as well…"

The silence that followed wasn't something Sakura expected. She was so sure he will be happy... Did she misread him that much?

Utter bewilderment was painted all over Madara's face. "Are you telling me you want to repeat it?"

"Not repeat. Do it again. Differently." Sakura turned her face away because she felt her cheeks just got very hot.

Madara stared at her for a very long time. "I don't trust your intentions," he said in the end shaking his head. "I'm sorry to say that but it's true."

"Why?!" Rejection stung even more because it was so unexpected. And from an unexpected direction. Whatever her intentions were in general, in this particular moment she genuinely acted out of her desire. Maybe not entirely and purely sexual - she didn't really have much idea about those - but a desire nevertheless. She wanted something from him and here he was refusing her.

Madara took a long breath. "I suspect that you want to use sex to manipulate me. To gain influence on me so that I let you out."

"I don't! Here I am offering you something most precious, most..."

"Do you deny the will to get out?"

"I deny will to manipulate you. I am very open about wanting you to let me out."

"You want to get into my heart."

"Oh, but that's too late for that, isn't it? I'm already there." That what flashed in Madara's eyes for the briefest of moments, was feral. For a split of second he looked as if he wanted to hit her.

Sakura held his gaze. She wasn't afraid of him. Not the slightest. If anything, she was angry. "I'm there and it didn't change a thing. Honestly, I've already lost hope that it will ever change." She saw something in him deflate. "But how did this conversation even go here? That wasn't my point! That wasn't the reason why I wanted to do it. I just wanted something positive… For my own sake. I want to still experience something in life! To know how it is when both parties want it. To know how it feels to welcome someone inside me. And if you're my only chance for that, then I'll take you!"

"That's not very flattering…"

"Not flattering?! Saying that I'm willing to do it with someone who violated me is not flattering?"

"You're probably right," he said and fell silent for a long while. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he said finally. "For what I did to you and what I'm doing and what I will do. I just... I don't want to hurt you more. If you want to do it because you have a strategic goal in mind, then you will be forcing yourself. I don't want you to. I guess it is what I'm afraid of."

"I wasn't about to force myself. I actually really wanted." The thoughts about his hands seemed very far away now. As if belonging to a different person. Now she only felt sad. As if she lost something before she even got it. Robbed once again.

"Wanted? And now not anymore?"

"Now, I'm not in the mood at all," said Sakura in a tired tone. She was quite emotionally drained after the encounter.

"I understand." A trace of regret in Madara's voice caught Sakura's attention.

Sakura glimpsed at him - he looked pretty down as well. Maybe they could still find a common ground?

"Sometimes, in some cases, you really should trust me, if only a little bit," she said gently. "If I say that I want, then why to look for a second bottom? We can sometimes be on the same side, you know? Like we are when it comes to the well-being of our child."

Madara nodded slowly, apparently pondering on her words.

"You know… Maybe tomorrow, if we don't argue again..." Sakura decided to take a risk. "Maybe I will be in the mood once again?"

"I'll try to come tomorrow," he answered. He didn't verbalize any agreement, but Sakura knew him well enough to read between his lines.

* * *

When he came the next day, Sakura was all flustered and short of breath. She felt blood rushing to her cheeks already when she heard his steps on the corridor.

Whatever happens from now on, it already turned out to be a pleasure. For the first time during her captivity she was anticipating something, she was waiting… Sure, she was nervous and self-conscious and maybe even a bit scared but it wasn't altogether a bad feeling.

Madara sat down on his usual spot.

"So," he started, "were you serious yesterday?"

"I was."

Madara shook his head taking in the determined expression on her face. "So, what?" he asked after a small pause. "Right now? Just like that?"

Sakura swallowed. "Yes."

"Then, what should I do?"

"Can you come here?"

Madara shifted and knelt in front of her, over one of her legs. "And now?"

"I don't know! You're the one who is supposed to know!"

Madara hesitated. "Well, at first people usually kiss…" he said carefully.

"Right." Sakura subconsciously licked her lips. He was very close and very much in front of her.

"So, should I?"

She nodded, inadvertently sliding her gaze to his mouth.

He bowed and Sakura angled her head. It seemed a correct thing to do. Their lips met, very gently at the beginning and they parted almost immediately. They waited couple of seconds and moved back together as if in synch.

The next contact was longer and Sakura opened her mouth a bit. It only felt natural. It also felt natural when the kiss became deeper. Madara's hand landed on her cheek and slid down to hold her neck. Sakura leaned into it, cherishing the touch.

His other hand was on the small of her back, but it seemed a bit unsteady there.

"May I?" he asked moving it a bit downwards.

Sakura nodded.

Madara hand slid all the way down. He was tracing gentle touches on her behind. Sakura didn't know when his other hand landed there as well. He was kneading her buttocks, pushing her against his knee resting between her legs. His mouth was on her throat, on the junction between neck and jaw, behind her ear. On her collarbone. One of his hands left her behind and crawled up to her breast. Sakura pressed into him with what freedom of movement she had. As she thought - it felt amazing.

"Can I undress you?" Madara lifted up his head from where he was kissing her – just at the upper hem of her gown.

"But what if the guards come?"

Madara sent her a heavy look, but after taking in her anxiety he got up and said: "I'll go tell them not to interfere until I leave. Alright?"

"But what if they suspect what are we doing here? What will they think of me?"

"The only person they will think something about will be me. And indeed, what they will be thinking is going to be pretty derogatory."

He came back and knelt in front of her again. He held one of the ribbons binding her shift between his fingers. "May I?"

Sakura bit her lip. It was her idea, so she shouldn't chicken out. "But you undress as well."

He took off his clothes in quick, non-nonsense manner and returned to kneel in front of her. After he untied the ribbons and pulled her shift away, for a long while he didn't do much more than just looking at her.

Sakura squirmed. "Don't stare. It's embarrassing."

"I'm sorry." He tore his gaze away from her breasts. "It's a reflex." That look in his eyes - she saw such look on men many times, and each time it was disgusting. But from him, now – it made her feel as if her skin and flesh were burning.

He leaned down and kissed her on the mouth; trailed his lips from her neck down her chest, closing down to her breast. Sakura sucked her breath in anticipation watching him approaching her nipple one small peck after another. When he finally got there, she jerked from the intensity of the sensation. The second kiss didn't freak her out anymore, but as it was firmer it brought forth even more intense sensation. Madara sucked at the nipple and something in Sakura's lower part clenched. It was warm between her legs. Warm and wet.

"That thing you did with your mouth..." managed Sakura between shaky breaths.

"Do you want me to do it again?" Madara lifted his head away from her chest.

"No! I mean... I mean, I don't think it will be necessary this time…"

"One doesn't do it only when it's necessary."

"Still, I guess it will be pretty difficult when I'm sitting like this. That thing you did with your fingers though…"

He got the cue and in a synchronized motion moved his hand down to her slit and his mouth back to her breast. Sakura whimpered.

He slid fingers between her folds, slowly rubbing up and down. Then he drove his fingers inside – Sakura was surprised how easy they went in – and started pumping them. She wanted to hold onto something, the ground herself somehow but she of course couldn't. He must have guessed her need as he stopped kissing her and just held her firmly against himself even if it must have made his hand maneuvers more difficult.

He re-found that particular place inside her and Sakura yelped.

"Should I stop?"

"No…" she managed. "Go on…"

That strange sensation was rising in her, it seemed almost too much and in the same time still not enough. She had no idea where it was going, but some part of her was curious. And most parts of her brain were anyhow rendered unable to take any action. Sakura clenched her eyes shut. The touches made her go stiff and with a deep inhale she felt that she was clenching around his fingers as the pleasure crescented into an impossible peak. Sakura muffled her cry against his shoulder.

Madara moved his fingers couple of time more and pulled them out. He held her tight for which she was immensely grateful because she thought she would just collapse. He gently stroked along her back.

"That was… That was like in that first genjutsu," Sakura finally articulated her thoughts.

She more felt than see him smiling in amusement. "That was the whole point, wasn't it?"

"I didn't know that it's how it really happens. I thought you've just made it up. I mean, I've heard that people find pleasure in these acts," Sakura nodded downwards, where her spread legs were just away from his erection. "But I always thought it means: generally. Not that it will be so explosive."

"Then I'm happy I got it right." Madara grinned. "I wasn't sure in the end. I don't know how do women feel. But it seems that male and female experiences are not that different in the end."

"What do you have to do to make it feel the same for you?"

"I have to finish."

Sakura tilted her head.

"I need to spill my seed," he clarified.

"Let's do it then. You should to enter me." Sakura pinched her brows scrutinizing their position. "Somehow…"

Madara shrugged. "Principally that's how it goes. But there is no 'should'. Not anymore. Until yesterday I've never imagined that I would have any contact of this kind with you again."

"But I want you to."

He positioned himself in front of her, bent her legs as much as the chains allowed and slipped his own legs under hers. When he pulled her hips forward, she had to lean against the wall for support. She was sorts of straddling him, but not really, as her bum was still on the mat.

"Will it even work?" Sakura asked observing his maneuvers skeptically.

"It will have to," he answered and moved them even closer.

Sakura shifted her pelvis and he slowly guided himself into her. It felt different than his fingers, and it definitely felt different from that time back five months ago. Now she wanted him to be there.

He didn't go very deep, and all the movement they could do was coming from rocking of Sakura's hips that he was instigating. She wanted to brace himself against him and move more, but she couldn't. She couldn't even touch him. She rested her forehead on his shoulder and looked down. Her belly wasn't too large yet so she could still see where he was entering her, disappearing inside her. And somehow seeing it was enough, it was enough to make the whole thing undeniably real.

"Do you think you can come again?" Madara broke her out of her thoughts. He sounded almost hopeful, so Sakura clenched her eyes shut and concentrated.

"I don't think so." She shook her head after a while. "I'm too preoccupied with what we're doing. But that's ok."

Afterwards he didn't ask her anything again. It seemed to Sakura that finally he stopped catering to her needs and started to get something for himself out of their tryst. That made entire thing more genuine and Sakura couldn't be happier. She focused on the rhythm of their bodies, on observing how the pleasure was taking hold on him, until he also reached his end.

When he finished, she realized that was delusional to hope they could keep the act to themselves – the futon underneath her was sticky and wet from their combined juices. Sakura blushed at the thought of her female guards washing her today.

* * *

The next day he came again, much later, after she had been already put onto her sleeping mat.

"I wasn't expecting you anymore today."

"I would have come earlier, but I had some business to attend." Madara sat down and it seemed to Sakura that he wasn't as sure of himself as usually. "But I thought I'd better see you. In case you were having second thoughts about yesterday. So that you can direct your anger on me."

"Anger? I'm not angry. And I don't have any second thoughts."

"Are you sure about it? The whole day I was thinking how irresponsible it was and that for sure you've changed your mind about it already."

"No! I didn't! I'm very glad about what I… about what we did."

"Then, I'm relieved."

Sakura laughed. "I would have never imagined that you deliberate so much about me," she mocked half-heartedly. She wasn't even really bitter about that, rather realistic. The life was running its course out there, in the wide world, while she was sitting stuck in her cell.

Madara lied down on the floor next to her futon. "There are very, very few things that are more important than you."

A smile found a way on Sakura lips against the common sense. Whatever it really meant she could pretend it sounded loving. "I was thinking… maybe we could do it again?"

A minute jerk went through Madara's body and Sakura chuckled. She coaxed a reaction out of him and she felt so proud.

He didn't need more invitation this time. He raised himself and moved so that he was over her, propped on his elbows.

"Wait up. I want to touch you," objected Sakura. Months and months on end things were being done to her, she was handled and moved around as if she was a doll. She wanted to _do_ something finally as well.

He shifted back off her and lied on his side, right next to her hand. She could reach Madara's chest now. Sakura ran her fingers across his torso, to his side.

"Hey, it tickles!" He flinched away from her touch.

"Oh, sorry." Sakura increased the pressure of her fingers. Then she grasped the fabric of his shirt and tugged. Understanding her intention, Madara removed it swiftly. Sakura put her hand flat against his chest, there where his heart was. Nothing, absolutely nothing in him tensed even though Sakura was sure that he knew she could kill him right now. _"So trusting, so daring or so done with his life?",_ wondered Sakura. She chased those thoughts out of her head and smiled at him. It was in the end the first time she was touching the father of her child, the man who, with all probability, will be her one and only partner… The man that probably even loved her in way…

Sakura's fingers roamed downwards as far as her restrains allowed her. With _doing_ she had something else in mind than just stroking. "I want to touch you so it feels good for you," she risked.

"You mean, there?" Madara pointed down.

Sakura nodded. He slipped out of his trousers and moved so that he was in her range. Sakura ran her fingers along his length, suddenly at loss about what came next.

"What should I do?"

"Just grab it."

"And then?"

"Move your hand up and down."

"Like that?" She stroked along his length. It was warm and velvety in a way she didn't expect.

He didn't answer her question, but the grimace on his face told her enough. So, she continued, despite the unpleasant twisting of her wrist that the movement required.

He started bucking into her grip. He was getting tense, the expression of concentration obvious on his face. Then, when Sakura thought he was almost there he moved away, out of her grasp. "Enough," he said.

"Why? What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing. Just the contrary. I would have finished and I didn't want to."

"Really?" Sakura beamed. It was long since she felt so accomplished. "Just with the hand?"

"How exactly it's done matters less than who is doing it, I guess. But let's do it properly." He stood up and moved to kneel between her thighs. The chains were quite short so she couldn't open her legs wide enough. To alleviate it he had to pull her entire body downward so that she could bend her knees and make space for him. That had a side effect of her arms getting bent at an awkward angle, as her wrists were fixed, but it was still manageable.

Sakura could feel his weight and warmth all over her, and even though he was heavy, it was the best feeling ever. His face was buried in her shoulder, his arms propped next to her head, and it felt as if he was all around her.

Sakura felt the rhythm he set with her entire body. Now, she could perceive how much of physical thing it was. She became aware of the effort that went into the movement. Sakura tried responding with her hips to meet him halfway, because finally, finally there was something she could also do. It wasn't always working as they would lose the rhythm from time to time, but then Madara would slow down so she could keep up.

They kept going, and, slowly, the now-familiar pressure began to build in Sakura. She was becoming strangely motivated to move in a more vigorous way and that resulted in increased rate of losing the rhythm. Madara must have noticed her predicament as he lifted himself from her and grabbed her hips. He drove into her with more force exactly how she needed it. Sakura clenched coming around him, and when she opened her eyes again to look up at him, he looked so immensely pleased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading (again!) If someone still has patience to tell me the impressions I will be super grateful! That would be really interesting to know if you liked the changes.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you've missed it - the original Chapter 8 has been replaced with a new version. If you haven't already read it, I suggest you go and read the second version of Chapter 8 before going on with Chapter 9 :)

When he came again a week or so later, with soft, quiet words and explanations why he had been away for that long; she accepted it all – him and his explanations. She would have opened her arms to him, if they were not chained down in a permanently opened position anyhow.

It was good that time, and the time after it, even better. Her body was learning to respond, or maybe he was learning how to deal with her.

Nevertheless, Sakura's mood was steadily deteriorating. Maybe it was the hormones, maybe the prolonged lack of sunlight. Maybe it was simply the reality starting to kick in. Every day she felt more sleepy, more down.

Except for him showing up more often in the evenings than during the day, nothing changed. Yes, she got those short moments of bliss and the comfort of learning _how_ it is despite her life being taken away from her, but otherwise nothing changed. He had no intention of letting her go. That was it. The dead end.

Swaying Madara wasn't her objective when she initiated the intimacy between them, but now, seeing how it didn't have any effect on how he was treating her, it was demoralizing. How can one so obviously love another person, and deliberately keep hurting her? What was so damn important? Or was she that mistaken and she didn't mean anything to him?

Either the way, the hope was fading inside her. To Sakura's surprise, it came as a relief. Hope meant struggle. Losing it was like falling into a black pit where no feelings bothered her anymore. There was nothing, just black void, akin to the genjutsu she was constantly subjected to. And, as before she used to clench her teeth when the guards were putting her under genjutsu, now she was welcoming them. She was dissolving in dark waters and the only wish that remained was to dissolve to the very end. Not to wake up.

With the child inside her growing, Sakura could see the end in sight. She wasn't disturbed by it though. It was more 'that's it' kind of a feeling.

"I want to ask you something… when I give birth, please let it be held to me. I know I won't be allowed to touch it. But hold it close to me, let me see it, let me feel it. Give me couple of minutes with it. And then… Then please kill me." Madara jerked his head. "I could do it on my own but I will make a mess while you can at least grant me a swift, clean death. I think you own me at least that. I don't want of spend rest of my life down here. I don't want to live knowing my child is somewhere out there and I will never.."

"Don't say that."

"Don't say what? That's exactly what you intend."

"I could… I could bring it here; let you see it."

"No. Under any circumstances: no. I won't have my child see me like this. Never. And this would only ruin its bond with you. Everything will depend on the bond between the two of you. You are the only one who will care for it. Who won't see it as weapon. Or at least not only as weapon. Do you love it?

"With all my heart."

"Then I've managed. My job is done." Sakura let her head hung low. "I think I should also say: thank you."

"For what?"

"For making it all a bit less… horrible. For all your genjutsu. For your…" Sakura nodded towards futon, "…kindness."

"It wasn't kindness." Madara's voice sounded strange. "I wasn't doing it because of kindness."

"But it was... It was kind of you."

"Why are you saying all this?"

"Because I don't want to anymore."

"What don't you want? Have sex? But that's fine, you're making it sound as if it was some great problem while.."

"No. I don't want anything anymore. I just want the baby to be born so I can die."

Madara shook his head. "Don't say.."

"You don't. There is only a certain amount of determination a person can muster. A certain amount of hope. Everyone has his limits. I've reached mine. I didn't manage to budge you, not even for a millimeter. I… I give up." Naruto wouldn't approve. But she couldn't motivate herself to care.

Talking was so difficult, Sakura was tired. "Could you… stop coming here? It gets too painful; your presence only reminds me about all the things I will be losing. And I don't want to think about it anymore. If you want to be around for the birth, I will very much appreciate that. But otherwise… I just want to sleep my way to it."

"Sakura…"

"Can you just go?" She turned her head away and kept it there for as long as it took for him to get up, stand there for couple of seconds more and slowly leave. Only then she led her head fell against the wall and closed her eyes. Familiar stagnation was enveloping her senses. Sakura wordlessly murmured a melody. She just remembered a ninth song – it was a lullaby.

* * *

She had heard his steps on the corridor several times in the span of next days. Each time he would stop be the guards and question them. Sakura couldn't distinguish the words but she knew what he was asking – whether she had changed her mind. And each time when he would depart his steps sounded more furious.

Until one day she didn't hear him stopping. He busted into the cell and marched straight up to her.

"What are you doing?"

Madara bent down to look into her eyes. "We're going out."

"Wha.." started Sakura and didn't finished because she fell limp into his outstretched hands as the genjutsu took hold on her.

.

When she woke up, she was scooped in his arms. And she wasn't sitting on the mat. She was in the air, being carried. Sakura squirmed against the hold. She was out of the cell!

Finally free! Out of her chains. Sakura moved her wrists – the chakra disturbing manacles were still there. He was holding her tight and it became obvious that at this point she was so weak that even a simple human embrace was enough to restrain her.

"Amazing, how tiny you are, despite it's the seventh month already… You're barely here." Madara reinforced his grip on her. As if he was afraid she would be gone.

"Where are we? Where are you taking me?" The corridor was dim and dank, and he was walking quickly.

"We're going out. You're going out. But first I want to you to see something."

Madara stopped in front of a small, barred window to a cell, similar to the one she was occupying and held her the way that she could peek inside. In the cell, splayed face down on the floor… She could recognize this mop of blond hair everywhere.

"Naruto! Naruto! What did you do to him!" She struggled in Madara's arms once again.

"I've captured him. So you could go out."

Sakura glanced up in incomprehension.

"He is a safeguard of your good behavior. Try anything and he will die. And he won't die quickly, I promise."

Sakura swallowed thickly. "Wait." She shook her head. "I didn't want to… Not like that.."

"But it's done. Not your decision."

All protest Sakura wanted to raise was cut short by the black curtain of genjutsu.

* * *

Genjutsu was lifted when she was still in his arms. He deposited her on a futon. But she wasn't back into her cell. They were in a room – wooden walls, paper sliding doors, simple, but normal furniture. Daylight filtering through the blinds. Daylight!

"Where…?"

"It's my house."

Sakura remained motionless, lying on her back until it dawned to her that she wasn't chained. Her mind was so accustomed to lying and talking to everyone from the horizontal position that at first she didn't even consider moving. But, when she realized…

Slowly, she moved her hands to the sides and propped herself up. Her arms almost gave in under the weight of her upper body and the effort coming from her core rendered her breathless. Madara steadied her with his arm.

"Easy. Don't try any rash movements."

"I know." Sakura looked around – it seemed to be an ordinary room – no security, walls out of thin planks, no place to secure the shackles. Not a prison.

"Why did you bring me here?"

Madara had an expression on his face as if he wanted to bit his lip. He didn't. "Because your state concerned me. And I thought that being out and able to move will improve it."

"But you're not letting me go," concluded Sakura with spite. "And you're blackmailing me into complacency by holding my brother hostage."

"If you really want to phrase it like that, then yes."

"I didn't ask you for something like that!" exploded Sakura and swayed from effort. "How could you?! How could you be so heartless?"

"Heartless? I've freed you from your cell and you're complaining?"

"I'd rather return there if it means that he's free! Believe me! I put the wellbeing of my loved ones above my own – and if it comes as a surprise to you then it means you have been ignoring all that _I am_ for past six months!"

Madara pursed his lips. "You stay here. He stays in the cell."

"How dare you…?" hissed Sakura "How dare you make my choices?"

"Those were never issues you had any decision power over. End of discussion. Or rather no discussion to begin with."

Sakura raised her hand and swung it at him. She wanted to slap him but her movements were so slow and uncoordinated that he calmly dodged it and her hand hit the thin air. He grabbed her wrist and forced her arm down. He leaned towards her and grabbed her other wrist for a good measure.

"You're staying here," he said and for the first time Sakura heard something menacing in his voice. "Make a good use out of your situation."

Sakura held his gaze. Sharingan spun in his eyes, the tomoe morphed from regular black to strange, hollowed inside shapes. Whatever it meant, it didn't scare her. "I have no power? Want to bet? If I remove myself from this equation there won't be any reason to keep Naruto imprisoned, right?" She bared her teeth into a predatory smile. She wasn't afraid of dying and the black well she swam in for the last couple of weeks was a familiar place. Familiar place that only needed to wait for a while, as now she was forced into action.

Madara tensed.

"The house is sealed. If you try anything, be sure that your brother will pay for it. And I won't go easy on him."

When the door slid behind him Sakura deflated and slumped on the futon. She covered her face with her hands and cried. So was this his real face? Was this how he really was like?

But finally, her tears were all spent and the logical parts of Sakura's mind wrestled their domination. The apathy was pushed out of her brain – now her intellectual capacities were clear and sharp as ever. As if she accessed the pent-up reserves of mental energy.

Whatever her circumstances were, Madara was right – she should make the best of it. She needed to play along; if anything she should bring her body to a better state. It will benefit the baby. And Naruto… if she kills herself after the delivery, Madara will lose the reason to hold him. Sakura was convinced that Madara would in the end respect her legacy enough to release her brother. He wasn't a dishonorable man.

So, a stalemate for now.

And for time-being it meant re-learning how to move. Sakura doubted that she could simply lift her legs, so she tiptoed her feet towards her bum until they were bent in the knees. Then she grabbed her right wrist and virtually pulled herself on to her left side, letting her knees fall simultaneously to the side, generating the momentum. Curled in a fetal position she almost sobbed from triumph and onslaught of signals that her body was sending.

She closed her eyes and rested her muscles counting until hundred. Then she opened her eyes.

She took a better look around – one of the sliding doors were half-open and through it she could see a patio bathed in sun. Slowly rolling herself further to the side, Sakura propped herself on her hands and knees. Maybe she could crawl there.

The weight of her own body was almost too much for her arms. Nevertheless, Sakura moved her left arm. Then she dragged her knee forwards over the floor. And another knee. Her body felt as if weighted a ton. She didn't even manage two meters before she needed to rest. She lied down; knees curled to her chest.

Two iterations later and she was almost on the doorstep to the patio. The sun moved and in the meantime the patch of sunshine reached the place were Sakura was lying. At least were her face was. Deeming it a success, she stayed there, writing reaching the patio off for the next day. Sakura closed her eyes and cherish the warmth on her cheeks. Red and golden spots were whirling under her closed eyelids. It was pure bliss, she never expected to see the sun once again.

* * *

She must have fallen asleep, as she was woken up by a sharp tug at her shoulder.

"What happened!? Are you hurt?!" Terrified face of Madara ghosted in front of her eyes.

"I'm fine," mumbled Sakura.

"What have you been doing?! Did you fall? Did you try to get up? How could you be so damn irresponsible!"

"I'm fine! I didn't fall! I'm not that stupid!"

"Are you sure?"

"Am I sure that I didn't fall? Or that I'm not stupid? Yes, I'm pretty sure of both."

"Then why are you on the floor?"

"I was trying to get to the patio. Into the sun. On my hands and knees," she added feeling she needed to explain herself. Madara seemed to be appeased.

"I'll take you there," he said.

Sakura shortly considered if she should push him away. They weren't on friendly terms right now, not at all. But before she could protest Madara scooped her and carried her outside.

"Better close your eyes," he said passing through the threshold. He sat down with her still in his lap. Then he maneuvered her so that she was sitting between his legs, and she could dangle her feet from the veranda. He wound his arm round her, as if he wasn't sure she wouldn't collapse and fall.

"I'm fine," said Sakura in mild irritation but instead of making demands about him releasing her or relieving her of his presence she focused on the yard. Within the enclosure of square patio, lay a small garden – some trees with branches carefully cut to give them shape, contained patches of green, some boulders placed on the expanse of light-grey gravel.

"It will take some time, but when you're strong enough you could walk there…" suggested Madara. He was still keeping his arms around her, but it wasn't cuddling. He seemed well aware that she was cross with him. "But it's getting late now. I brought food. Let's eat inside."

He carried her back to the room, produced a tray with riceballs from the table and set it next to the futon. Sakura reached for the onigiri but halfway her arm fell limp. Madara picked up the rice ball and placed it in her hand.

"Can you manage?"

Sakura lifted the food to her mouth. She did manage, but biting required time and she couldn't hold her arm up long enough. She willed herself to override the weakness and her upper arm started to shake. Madara propped her elbow so she could finish the bite. Then he escorted her arm down. When she chewed and swallowed, he guided her hand back up. It was embarrassing to be so dependent on his help, especially now when she was angry, but there was no other choice.

After the meal that passed in silence, Madara moved the dishes aside and crouched by the bed. "We need to train. Lie down."

Sakura complied. She calmed down a bit over the last few hours. The burning fury subsided, making place for her usual pragmatism and now well-familiar disillusionment.

Madara gently bent her leg and lifted it. "I will move it back and forth but if you can muster some strength then join in. And tomorrow hopefully I will contribute less and you more. Until you can do all the exercises on your own."

"How do you know how to rehabilitate people?"

"My brother once broke both of his legs. Really badly – he couldn't walk for months. Everyone thought that he was done for. But my mother didn't give up. She made him get on his feet again." Madara moved her leg towards her belly and them motioned it back until it was outstretched.

"What did he do to break both legs in the same time?" Sakura briefly forgot her animosity. It was probably the first time Madara had told something about his own life. She tried putting some work into the leg's movement but there wasn't much that she could spare.

"He was trying to escape from the shinobi from your clan. He was seven and all alone. They cornered him by the cliff and not knowing what else to do - he jumped. He didn't even have enough chakra control to run down…" Madara held under her knee and with his other hand moved her feet so that the muscles in her calf flexed. "We found him the next day. It was a miracle that it was only the legs…"

* * *

Came the evening and it was obvious that they will be sleeping in the same bed. Madara rolled on the side, trying to occupy as little space as possible, while Sakura curled up on her half. She couldn't fall asleep. She was too wound up and too cold. She was unaccustomed to the chill of night – her cell must have been heated through some hotsprings system, as she never required covers there. Now, under a thick blanker she was shivering.

"Will you fall asleep finally?" asked Madara in irritation after, what seemed to Sakura, a good hour of her fruitless attempts on making herself comfortable. "I cannot sleep when you're awake."

"I'm cold."

Without further word he got up and went to the neighbouring room. When he came back, he was carrying an armful of covers. One by one, he spread them over her – first another blanket, then what looked like a travelling cloak, then two black kimonos.

"That's all I found here. Will it be enough or should I go search for more?"

"I think it will be enough," said Sakura, only her nose and tip of her head peaking from under the ´pile. "Thank you," she added after a moment of hesitation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and I'm curious to hear your opinions!


	10. Chapter 10

The next day she could move her leg up and down with only minimal support from Madara. This was what they achieved during their third training session that day. Sakura was so drained that she would gladly limit herself to two, but Madara was persistent. Otherwise she spent her day propped against the cushions on the patio. She probably got a horrible sunburn, but she didn't mind.

On the fourth day he could apply some contra-pressure to her legs' movements. And they decided to give standing up a try. Sakura held herself to the rail on the veranda while Madara slowly let her legs down. Immediately after he could switch his hold from carrying her bridal style to holding her under her armpits he used both of his hands to support her weight. She managed good half a minute before she collapsed.

Sakura managed to negotiate the careful use of her medical chakra to rehabilitate herself. She couldn't muster much at once because of the chakra-disturbing manacles, but she had time. She worked on her muscles, fiber after fiber, starting with thighs, then calves, then, in the end, also the muscles of her core. It gave her something to do during the long hours when Madara was not around.

Day by day she was getting stronger and, even though the training was exhausting, the progress made the pain and effort worth it. When it was clear that she wouldn't fall Madara reluctantly agreed that she could exercising standing, and later walking, with two servant girls. That dramatically increased the time Sakura could invest into her training.

It was three weeks outside the cell and Sakura could get up on her own and even walk unsupported for a while. They spent lots of time together, more than ever before, but the atmosphere between them was still strained. They didn't talk much – Madara apparently waiting for Sakura to start the conversation, which she rarely did. She never mentioned her sentiments about Naruto's capture again, even though the topic was hanging in the air between them. But if she was judging Madara correctly, discussing with him wouldn't bring a thing, as sad and sobering as it was.

He had made a decision and he was planning to stand by it. Of course, she understood that his motive was her own well-being. And she was painfully aware of the irony of their situation – what was supposed to make them closer, what was an ultimately loving act, only made them estranged.

Maybe the way was not through confrontation. Maybe the only way they could go was that of accommodating each other's actions. Why would he respect her feelings if she didn't acknowledge his? He loved her in the end, he was doing it for her.

Having him so close, all the night right next to her, so that she could feel the heat radiating form him… And she was free to move. She could do whatever she wanted, as long as it didn't involve escaping. She wasn't using it at all. And she was probably slowly but steadily ruining the bond they managed to create. And she wanted his closeness; she wanted the intimacy. She wanted to feel his embrace again, to feel him inside her…

"Don't think I am not grateful to you," said Sakura. It was middle of the night and she woke up. Madara was also awake, she could sense it without even listening to his breathing. Yet another long, sleepless night for them both, it seemed. "I am. In a way."

He didn't answer but Sakura knew she had his attention.

"Don't worry, I won't raise arguments, I won't try changing your mind, nothing of that kind. I know I cannot."

"I wanted to…"

"I know what you wanted. And I'm wasting your effort, and, more importantly, Naruto's unwilling sacrifice, by being at odds with you." Sakura rolled over to face him. He was still turned away from her, so she wound her arm around his waist. He twitched at her touch. "Let's not be at odds anymore." She tugged him so that he would turn to her. The more happiness they manage to steal, the better for them both. No one is gaining anything if they lie unhappy next to each other. "Let's not be…" She pulled him more so that he would be over her.

She couldn't see his face expression, but from his stance she figured his astonishment. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"We can do it… If you want."

"Really?"

"Really."

Madara gulped and shifted. Her belly already so large that he couldn't lie in her embrace anymore. He ran one hand along her side, up and down. He grabbed her breast and squeezed a bit – Sakura whimpered opening her legs, stepping on the familiar path.

"But not like this. Not again me doing things to you." He moved slightly away from her, and it seemed to Sakura that he was looking into her eyes. He, with Sharingan could probably see her pretty well. "I know that once you give birth, you will confront me again with all the arguments you've got. And I won't be able to stop you." He lowered his head and kissed her. "I know I won't be able to stop you once you decide you'll kill yourself." His second kiss most more hungry, more violent. "Then at least let's use the time we've got." He interlocked his arm behind her back and lifted her, rolling on his back. Sakura yelped as she landed straddling him.

Madara was undoing the belts of their robes, exposing their flesh to each other and to the cool night air. Sakura propped herself on his chest breathing heavily. Excitement that she didn't know until now was taking over her senses.

Madara finally found his way through their clothes and aligned himself with her entrance. Sakura shifted her pelvis letting him in.

"And what now?" she asked.

"Now you move. As you want."

Sakura pressed harder against his chest to get leverage and raised her hips. When she let them down the sensation like no other ignited her nerves. She repeated the motion trying to open her legs more. She closed her eyes and listened to the cues of her body. But moving was difficult and tiring, her knees were barely reaching the futon and her breath was getting shorter. The pressure inside her was demanding harsh, fast thrusts, but she wasn't able to deliver them. Still, she kept on, willing her muscles to cooperate until sweat beaded on her back.

"I cannot." Sakura lowered her head admitting a defeat. "I'm too weak. I cannot do it fast enough."

"And if I move you?" he asked grabbing her hips and setting her body in motion.

"Still, it costs so much energy… Here, in the legs." She pointed to the muscles of her upper thighs.

"Alright. Let's try differently."

He lifted her off his lap and helped her to lie down. Then he rolled her so that he was embracing her from behind and, bending her leg, opened her up.

Sakura gasped, surprised at how different it felt to have him inside her when he was entering her in that way.

"That doesn't cost you too much energy, right?"

Sakura nodded and whimpered because Madara got a hold on her breasts. He sneaked his other hand to where they were connected and with swift maneuvers of his fingers brought her to completion. He followed right after her, apparently prompted by the clenching of her passage.

* * *

As her strength recovered, Sakura could move around the patio and the garden on her own and she was taking full advantage of it. She cherished every single step she was allowed to take, and every minute of sunshine on her face.

On the east side of the yard barrier surrounding her dwelling was dissecting the patio. It was the only place where Sakura could see it, because otherwise it must have been put on the outside of the building. It was a semi-translucent, reddish plane sinking vertically into the floor of the patio. Sakura tried touching it once – it was warm and made her palm tingle.

There was still enough space between the barrier and the railing that she could go around the yard. She couldn't reach the sliding doors leading to the other rooms but she peeked through them a couple of times, when they weren't closed properly. Madara's house was really big. It looked rather un-lived as if someone just moved in and didn't have furniture yet but clearly it was a house of someone of importance. There were people coming to the house almost every evening. There must have been yet another yard beyond the rooms she could see, and it was where those people stayed, as only the faintest rumble of conversation and distant light of lamps was seeping through multiple paper walls.

But one evening the voices were much closer. Sakura was doing her usual rounds in the garden when she heard the conversation. Led by curiosity, she came up to the barrier trying to localize the speakers. The doors were all shut, so she couldn't see them, but she recognizes Madara's voice. He was arguing with someone.

"She has much too much influence on you," said an unknown voice.

Could it be that she was the topic? Sakura's attention spiked.

"Mind your words." That was Madara. And he wasn't pleased.

"You mind your _actions_. If you cannot control yourself to this extent, at least put up a better façade in front of elders." Judging from the voice, the speaker must have been quite young. Sakura wondered who he was that he had the nerve to speak to Madara in such a way.

"I didn't get to where I am to mind elders' opinions."

"You are delusional thinking that you can keep the leadership through power of our ninjutsu only. Clan members are not our enemies. They are supposed to follow you. Not succumb to you."

There was a pause and Sakura could imagine the expression on Madara's face. He hated to be scolded, and even more he hated when someone else was right. Because Sakura had to wholeheartedly agree with Madara's mysterious interlocutor.

"You have to convince them to your ideas."

"Izuna, I am offering them a break-through! And way to beat the Senju! How can they not see it? How can not want to follow?"

 _Izuna_? The same man that ordered breaking her legs?

"For many people this plan is too far-fetched. Based on deciphering the script that only you and me can see… Many don't trust us, you are aware of it, aren't you? And there are too many ifs… _If_ she is closely enough related to the other transmigrant. _If_ the joining of the bloodlines even means procreation. _If_ Hashirama really is another transmigrant… It's all speculation. Our speculation. Or rather mainly _yours_."

Sakura narrowed her eyes at an unfamiliar word and shifted as close as the barrier allowed.

"I thought that we had at least that established." Madara's tone was clipped. He wasn't pleased with this conversation.

"It _is_ a speculation. Based on Hashirama's rise to power, his strange abilities and the fact that he is exactly your age."

"Not only that. Since we've met, I had this strange feeling about him. Something I couldn't quite put my finger on. As if I had known him since forever."

There was a pause and it was Madara who spoke again. "Even now, after so many years, you still condone it."

"What you were doing was treason. And you still don't think it was wrong, aniki!"

 _Aniki?_ Izuna was Madara's brother? That wasn't good news for her.

"You need to stop favouring her so." It was Izuna speaking again. "It makes people question where your loyalties really lie. Imagine, a clan leader consorting with a Senju like that. She lives in your house, sleeps in your bed. You treat her as if she was your wife."

"Her role is enormous. She is carrying this child. Her wellbeing decides about its future."

"Her wellbeing was secured down in the cell. You didn't need to bring her here. You should remember that she herself means nothing, only her bloodline matters. And let's hope that it will be good enough to produce it."

What did Izuna mean? Was there some quality that might or might not be enough in her? It didn't sound as if he was concerned about her ability to carry a healthy child to term.

"We better pray to all the gods that this child awakens Rinnegan soon. The clan won't wait forever for something that has never been seen before."

* * *

"What is a transmigrant?" Sakura sat up on the bed as he approached.

Madara jerked his head, tensed and took two steps back. She could see a battle stance. For the first time ever, she saw his battle stance. But she didn't let her eyes off him. She kept staring right into the Sharingan.

"What is it?" she repeated. "What is a transmigrant?"

Madara kept looking at her with a strange expression on his face. Bewilderment morphed into focus and then into sadness. In the end he sat down on the edge of the bed, back to her, shoulders slumped.

"I wish I knew myself," he answered after a long while.

"Are you one?"

"Yes."

Sakura wrought hands into her hair. She slumped heavily on the bed next to him.

"So, that's why. It's not about Uchiha and Senju blood. I always wondered why are you making so much effort with me? Why don't you find an easier target…? How stupid I was! It's about you. It's just you. And me. And this child."

Sakura slumped on the futon next to him. "What power you're hoping it will have? What is even that rinnegan?"

Madara grabbed her at the shoulder. "Stop. Stop speaking. Right now."

"Why?"

"So that no one hears you saying that! You cannot know it! You've already heard too much!"

"Too much for what? I'm a dead woman walking. Who cares what I know!"

"I was trying to figure out the way… Some jutsu that would erase your memories. Or replace them with fake ones. What came onto you to eavesdrop?! Now I cannot risk it! Even if your mind will be blank, your body will have tell-tale signs of pregnancy. At some point someone will figure out and try some mind-digging jutsu on you. You cannot know that!"

"I want to know that! It's about my child! Is it a some other dojutsu? Is that what it is?

Madara didn't answer but she went on. She couldn't stop - it was pouring out of her. "What would you subject my child to in order to awaken that damned thing? Is it true that Uchiha do all kinds of horrible things to awaken your kekkei genkai? Is it true that you kill your comrades?" When Madara didn't say anything, she got a hunch that she was onto something. That it wasn't just a disgusting prejudice meant to dehumanize the enemy. "What would you have my child do? Kill its friend? Kill its sibling? What if that's not enough? Kill entire village of innocents? Torture people to death? Torture it?"

"In the name of all the gods – stop."

"What if it fails? What will it take for you to accept a failure? And what if it works? Will it be a weapon? Your weapon?"

"No. It will be a ninja. As we all are."

"What will this power do to it? No power comes without prize."

"I don't know. I have no idea." Madara shook his head, desperation painted on his face.

"When will it awake? How? How will it look like?" Questions were spilling from Sakura's lips uncontrollably.

"I don't know! No one has ever seen it!"

"What will it give to you?"

"Power."

"But it will be just a child, it will be years until it will be of any real use on the battlefield! And the power will belong to it in the end… Not to you…" Cogs in Sakura's brain were spinning on high speed. Something was fundamentally wrong with this plan, and she had to find out what. "You won't be waiting until it grows up. And you won't risk its death on the battlefield. Can one steal this power? Transplant it?" She was thinking aloud, keeping her eyes on Madara, looking for cues. And she got one. Something flashed on his face. "Transplant? That's what you're planning? To rip out the eyes from your own child? And what? Get it for yourself….?" Sakura's her lips trembled uncontrollably. "Only a monster would.."

"If it comes to it, I will gladly give my own eyes back to him or her."

Both Sakura's hands jumped towards her mouth to keep the throwing up reflex at bay. Sakura reeled. He confirmed it. He confirmed a horror scenario that five minutes ago she didn't even imagine possible. Sakura fought nausea at the thought of sharing bed with him, willing consorting with him. She wanted to punch herself for her naiveté, for putting her trust into him.

"Power? You do something like _that_ for power?" Sakura never hated a word more than she hated this one now. "To elevate your clan? To destroy the Senju? You want to gouge your own child's eyes out to beat the enemy?"

Madara furrowed his brows. He must have been thinking about something else because he seemed unaffected by her words. "No," he said in the end. "Not for the clan."

"That's not what you've told to your brother!"

"Indeed. That's not what I've told him."

"Why are you lying? You have me captive and helpless and yet you find it necessary to lie to me? Have at least enough guts to tell me the truth… I guess I estimated you wrongly on so many different levels…" added Sakura with contempt when he didn't say a word.

"I'm not lying to you. I lied to Izuna."

"What?"

"I won't use this power to wage petty wars between the clans. Uchiha, Senju, Hyūga – it all doesn't matter. With this power I will establish peace. I will solve world's problems. All of them. This plan… My plan…" said Madara quietly, as if he was trying to reason with her. Reason with her! About mutilation of her child! "It's a chance. Not only for Uchiha but for us all, for all the people." He took her by the shoulders and she suddenly felt what she was in comparison to him – small, fragile. Killable. "For peace. And for this, I need the power of god."

"You raped me to have a child with me. You blackmailed me with torturing my brother. You will have me killed. Then you will take your child's eyes. Do you really, honestly believe that you deserve the power of a god? Do you think _you_ will know how to fix the world? If you want to change the world for better then start with yourself! Try being a human before you want to be a god!"

"But I know what to do! I know how to rip the world from this cycle of hatred!"

"That's not your responsibility. World is not your responsibility. You, yourself are your responsibility. Before you set on repairing the world, live like a decent human being for a start!" screamed Sakura balling her fists.

The pain from her clenched palms brought her to a halt. Her revulsion didn't matter. It didn't matter. As it didn't matter half a year ago when she had first demanded to see him. She needed to shove all her horror away and fight. She took a long breath, calming herself down. "Nothing happened yet," she said slowly. "No irreversible damage has been done. It's not too late. You're not a monster. You don't have to become one. We can still get out of this mess. It can have a happy ending!"

"I can save the mankind. That's more important than who I am and what will become of me."

"No! You are Madara! And it is important! It's still not too late! You're not a monster yet!"

Madara's entire body was tense, she almost anticipated that he would lunge on her, strike her, hurt her somehow. But he only spun and marched out. The worse outcome possible. Sakura jumped onto her feet. "Wait!"

He was already on the patio.

"Wait!"

Sakura has never run after the release from the cell. Walking was all she practiced. Yet now she ran. She reached him just before the barrier, grabbed his shoulder with the strength she didn't expected to possess and forcefully turned him towards herself.

"Madara. Think about it – each time you hurt me you regret it! I know you do; I see it in your eyes! You feel guilty and you want to make it up to me. Usually only making it worse. Why don't you break _this_ cycle? Why don't you simply abstain from doing that horrible thing? Wouldn't it be a solution?"

Madara's eyes flashed that strange red-and-black pattern again. Out of nowhere, an enormous, ghastly-blue hand appeared and grabbed Sakura around the waist. Sakura shrieked, pushed against giant fingers, fighting not to get crushed – but the hand held her firmly. Now she could see – it was somehow attached to Madara. Or to a shell of blue chakra that was enveloping him. Before Sakura could process that, the arm, still holding her tight, extended to the other end of the yard and placed her on the floor there.

Now she understood. He planned to pass through the barrier before she could reach him again.

"You love this child! You love me! You can't hurt us like that!"

Madara's fingers danced the patterns of the handseals, creating an opening in the barrier.

"I believe in you! I believe in you!" Sakura screamed her lungs out hoping he would still hear her voice through the barrier that fell behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and I'm super curious about your thoughts! Especially that now the reasons of Madara's actions are finally revealed!


	11. Chapter 11

He didn't return for the night. When Sakura woke up next morning his side of the bed was cold and unslept-in.

That morning when she went out to the garden, she saw all three servant girls sitting on the floor at the doorstep of a room adjacent to the barrier. They had food containers with them and from the look of it they were waiting for someone to open the passage. They waved to her when they saw her, so she came up.

They said something, Sakura got 'Madara-sama' from the movement of their lips, but couldn't hear a word. She extended her fingers to touch the barrier – the powerful outburst of energy almost sent her careening backwards. Sakura looked at her fingertips – they were burnt.

Madara must have reinforced the jutsu. That would explain why the sounds could penetrate it no longer.

In meantime the servant girls brought a solid, wooden box and packed the food into it. Then, holding the box from the both sides they pushed it against the barrier. Sakura saw how the wood smoked. The girls pressed putting their entire weights into the effort and, under the pressure from both sides, the box propelled and literally flew, mercifully missing the heads of the girls only to ram into and break the paper wall behind them. In chaos that followed, Sakura waved her hands frantically, signaling that they should stop trying to breach the jutsu. She retrieved writing utensils from the sleeping room and presented them a note saying: 'Don't worry, I'm fine. I still have food.'

The girls nodded, and reluctantly left. Sakura ate the left-over rice and brought some water from the spring on the yard. She wasn't even hungry. She had other things on her mind. And the longer Madara was gone the worse scenarios were developing in Sakura's head. The horror of his plans lied bare in front of her and she was deprived of the only weapon she had – reasoning with him.

When he didn't return the next day, Sakura thought she would go insane. This helplessness was worse than being chained to the floor.

In meantime the servant girls were there again, without the food but with determined looks on their faces. 'We will call Izuna-sama to open the barrier' said on the paper they held up for her to see. Sakura's heart stopped. Izuna coming here would equal to her going back to the cell! Then she would lose all her chances! Sakura darted to her chamber, grabbed some paper and scribbled: 'Please don't bother Izuna-sama. I have plenty of food.'

The girls looked at her skeptically. Sakura ran back to the room, grabbed an empty rice-bowl and, from across the yard, presented it towards the servants, careful to keep it high enough that they didn't notice nothing was inside.

After some mad gesturing from Sakura's side the girls went to their duties and she was left with growling stomach and increasing sense of foreboding.

That day the only thing she had to eat were just-ripe plums from the young plum-tree on the yard. But she didn't care. The nerves were threatening to rip her apart. She couldn't pace on the patio not to alarm the servant, so she walked endless circles behind the closed doors of the bedroom. And, taking advantages from the impermeability of the barrier, she screamed.

* * *

It was dead of the night when a shake at the shoulder woke Sakura up.

"Gods, you have deep sleep," Madara was bent over her. "Wake up and get up."

"What? Why?" Sakura tried gathering her thoughts, not quite comprehending the situation.

"Because we're going."

"Going? Where?!" Only now she realized that not only was Madara back, but also fully dressed, and not in the usual robe he wore at home. "Where are we going?" she asked, suddenly fully awake.

"First of all, out of the compound. Dress." He threw a bundle of clothes at her.

"Where are you planning to take me?" Alarm bells rang in Sakura's head. The last conversation they had finished at what was basically a death threat. She had misjudged him severely. Knowing what were his plans for the child made Sakura scared of him as she wasn't scared of anyone her entire life. And she was helpless in front of him, with only her words to her defense.

"Would you stop discussing and start moving? Or are you really so hell-bent on jeopardizing your own escape?"

"Escape? Are we escaping?"

"At least some of us are trying to…"

Sakura froze. Did he change his mind? After that display of ruthlessness, he confronted her with two days ago? Or was he tricking her? He wouldn't have to, a genjutsu would have suffice… "Why?" she asked very slowly. "Why? What are you doing and why?"

"Why? Because I reconsidered my actions. If you desire the details that much, can we go into them in a more opportune time?" He grabbed her arm and pulled her up to her feet.

"No! Wait! What about Naruto! I can't go! What will happen to Naruto?!"

Madara roughly tugged at the belt holding her sleeping robe. "I freed him." He grabbed the robe and tore it off her shoulders. "If he's half-way decent ninja he should be behind the border by now."

"Is he safe? What exactly did you do?" Sakura decided on cooperating and she was simultaneously slipping out of her white sleeping robe and palming the yukata to figure out where the front is.

"I carried him out of the prison and let him free some five kilometers from here."

"But he was down there for so long! Will he know the way?"

"In case he turned out indeed such a moron as you've been implying, I gave him directions. Now will you hurry up?"

Sakura halted again. "How can I trust you? You may only be saying this, while in reality..."

"You said you believe in me," interjected Madara. "Then live up to your words."

Sakura bit her lip. Out of all possible scenarios, that was so god that she never even took it under consideration. Whatever was happening here, she should grab her chance. "Are we going to my clan?" she asked putting on her sandals.

Madara spun. "You're not serious, are you? You don't imagine I would betray my clan so?"

"Who says about betrayal…"

"Plus you want this child safe, don't you?" interrupted Madara. "Do you honestly believe that _your_ clan won't use it as a weapon?"

"I…" started Sakura. She wanted to vehemently deny, but then she thought about Butsuma, about the clan elders, about this cold, metal glint always present in Tobirama's eyes… "No," she shook her head. "It won't be safe there…" she finished very quietly and blinked her tears away. All that time she was dreaming of home, and now when finally, finally she got him to let her out, she understood she cannot go back. "Where are we going then?"

"First to the seashore. From there we'll catch a ship that will take us to the Land of Water. And from there… I've heard that far on the east lies an entire continent. People there don't use chakra, they don't even know such concept. If we want the Rinnegan to stay undetected, or maybe even unawaken, that's our chance."

Sakura stared with her mouth open. "No chakra? Then no shinobi as well? And what of us?"

"We won't be shinobi anymore. We will never use chakra again." He grabbed her by the elbow and pushed towards the door. "We'll take new identities and live as people there live. Hopefully no one will find us. Hopefully that will be far enough." Madara picked up from the floor a pack that he must have prepared earlier. "Hurry. I knocked down the guards, but the change will come soon. I wore the mask, so they will only go after Naruto for now thinking it was a Senju that had freed him. Nevertheless, the village will soon scramble with shinobi on the pursuit. Hopefully they will first try to catch him themselves before they will come up with a notion of bothering me with their incompetence."

"You used him as a decoy?"

"Also."

Sakura bit down an urge to curse him again. But the dice had been rolled. She had to make the best out of her situation.

They circled the yard until they reached the barrier. That was as far as Sakura went for weeks. That was the border of her world. And she was about to breach it. She was about to escape! She had long given up hope for it. The concept was so strange, so abstract… She didn't have any plans, any thoughts about what could possibly happen to her outside those walls. For months already she had never considered she can have a life 'afterwards'. To see her child grow, take care of it. Work. Live. Grow old.

It was as if walking across the patio she was experiencing her own birth. But unlike the newborn not recognizing the gravity of the event, she was there with the full comprehension on an adult.

Madara held her elbow.

He made couple of quick handseals and the red glow of the barrier flickered creating an opening. They passed and the barrier closed immediately behind them.

"This should slow them down. It will take some time until anyone will get anxious about you not showing up on the yard. And even more time to decide to intervene and then to get Izuna. Who, a that point of time won't probably even be in the village. If I estimate correctly it will take them two days to realize you're gone."

"And you? Won't they be looking for you?"

"Oh, they will. Quite frantically, I suppose. But people saw me heading off two days ago. They will assume I've never returned."

Madara was leading her through the house – room after room – only now Sakura realized fully how large it was.

"Where have you been?"

"Away."

"Away where?"

"Away so that I could be alone. Now be quiet and try moving as fast as you can." Madara carefully slid the door open. They opened to the street. The night outside was dark, sky mostly clouded. Sakura thanked all the gods for their blessing and slid the hood lower to hide her face.

"This way," whispered Madara turning into an opening between the buildings. Sakura followed. Couple of passages more and they were facing the blackness of the forest. "Quench your chakra," he ordered. "We'll wait until the guard passes."

Soon, the steps of the patrolling Uchiha shinobi sounded from the left. Plastered to the wall with her breath held, Sakura waited. So close. Her freedom was so close. Just behind that tree line.

The guard passed failing to notice them. Waiting another minute, Madara beckoned her to move. Between the trees it was completely dark and only with huge effort Sakura could avoid branches poking into her eyes. About minding her steps she could as well forget. Madara held her hand and led her on. Sakura didn't need to be told to avoid the noise. She stepped on her toes feeling the ground for dry, cracking branches before she would put her weight on it. Their progress was excruciatingly slow or at least so it seemed to Sakura. Her primal instinct was telling her to run, to create as much distance as possible between herself and that accursed clan. But she kept minding her steps.

They were moving for half an hour already, and with increasing speed. Adrenaline that had rendered Sakura numb to pain during the initial stages of the escape, was wearing down. The soles of her feet hurt, tendons unused to prolonged usage burning with bright pain. And the muscles of her legs were approaching their limit as well.

"How much further?" she asked. He must have a plan, he cannot expect that she will run all the way to… Actually, where to? Sakura had no idea where were they going, except that they were heading north-east. "Just that you know – I don't think I can keep up for more than three or four kilometers."

"I see. Should I carry you?"

"Why not use some jutsu? At least to augment our speed?"

"The pursuit party must have left already. They are probably right behind us. They will go after your brother – north, but we're still within the range of the sensors. My chakra is very distinctive; if I uncloak it, we will be seen from afar." Madara knelt down so she could climb on his back.

"The belly is in the way… And I weight a ton," protested Sakura.

"Not more than a grown-up man."

He picked up his pace, as if he didn't notice the additional burden. Unfortunately, the way he was carrying her was causing her pain. Because of her belly Sakura couldn't lean on his back which left her entire body weight to hang on the grip he had under her knees.

"Put me down. I'll try on my own again," said Sakura after couple of minutes.

"Just stay there. I can go on."

"No. It hurts."

He put he down immediately.

"Just give me a moment." Sakura propped herself against a tree and bent her leg to massage the calf. She didn't dare to send medical chakra into her muscles yet. "Do you have anything to eat?"

Madara fished out a soldier pill from one of many packs he was carrying. "Here. But come now."

Putting the soldier pill into her mouth Sakura picked up her pace. She crunched the pill between her teeth – this would give her an impression of eating something. And make the pill act faster. Sakura placed her hand on her stomach. It will also make the side effects be more violent. The baby will feel them, that's for sure. _'Endure, my little one. Endure. We're getting out of our misery.'_

It was a true fight – her feet hurt so much she didn't imagine possible. Dull muscle pain was fighting for her attention with the sharp pangs of over-strained tendons. Thanks to the pill her energy level got temporarily raised but it didn't nullify the fact that she wasn't properly eating for two days. Sakura pushed her tongue between her teeth and bit at it to distract herself.

When Sakura thought she wouldn't make it anymore, Madara slowed down. She heard a distant sound of running water and suddenly she could distinguish the silhouettes of single trees against brighter background. They were approaching a river.

Madara was scouting the area, apparently looking for a best place to descent the scarp.

"Stay here," he said and half jumped, half-climbed down.

Soon he was just a dark silhouette against the pale grey of the gravel of riverbed. He walked up and up the river, as if searching for something. Then he took an abrupt turn and approached a dark shape that must have been a tangle of driftwood and debris brought by the floods that got attached to the drooping branches of the willows on the bank.

And then he started to dismantle this heap; piece by piece, log by log. Until from under the debris appeared the contours of a boat.

Madara removed the last pieces of camouflage and pushed the boat on the water. He bound it to a stone and doubled back evening out the deep ditch that the boat's hull created in the stones. He came up to where she was crouched and helped her down – the riverbank was quite steep.

When she stepped her foot onto the wobbling boat, Sakura thought she could scream in euphoria. They made it! She made it!

"We're not safe yet," stated Madara as if reading her thoughts. "It's still a long way. But you may stop quenching your chakra now. I will need to activate the Sharingan to steer, so it doesn't matter anymore."

Indeed, the river was fast, the current strong and riverbed was full of boulders, shallows and uprooted trees. They weren't safe yet – clutching to the boat's side and trying to accommodate sharp jolts Sakura prayed that his Sharingan was enough.

There was so much she wanted to ask him, so much she didn't understand. But she held her tongue for now – deconcentrating him was the last thing Sakura wanted.

Finally, as the sky in front of them started to turn into that peculiar shade of bluish-grey that appears long before the sun gives it the colors, the river became broader and calmer. Sakura turned back, to judge from Madara's appearance if the worse was already behind them.

Madara, still keeping one hand on the rudder, beckoned her to move closer. "I can remove those." He pointed at the shackles.

Sakura extended her arm towards him, and Madara, briefly letting go off the rudder, made a quick succession of handseal and touched his finger to the shackle. The metal parted and cuff fell clattering to the bottom of the boat.

When he was working on the last shackle, Sakura decided she could risk a conversation. "Will you explain me why?" she asked softly. "What happened that you changed your mind?"

Madara opened the last cuff and threw in into the water.

"If you don't want to tell me, it's alright… I guess it doesn't really matter anymore. Your actions are what counts." Sakura extended her hand and brushed alongside his palm. She got a hold of it and rubbed small circle with her thumb. "Thank you. From the depth of my heart – thank you."

"Don't thank me!" Madara's voice was sharper than she expected. Sharper than she was used to. "It doesn't even make up a tiniest part that I…"

"No," interrupted Sakura. "It doesn't work like that. It's not a market where things have price and can be weighted one against another. What matters is that you've saved me. Even if you were saving me from your own self, you still did save me." Sakura clenched her hand around his. Hard.

Madara nodded slowly. "When I was away…" he started and it was obvious that it wasn't easy for him to speak. "I realized… I realized that I always had a certain image of myself. Of what kind of man I am." Madara broke off and started at the distance. Normally, Sakura would think he was simply assessing their route, but this time she knew it wasn't the case. Madara was looking somewhere much further than the next riverbend. "I always thought of myself as of someone who would do anything and everything for my loved ones," he picked up after a while. "That I would protect them even if it cost me everything. That's the core of who I am. And what I've been doing…? Lying to Izuna. Hurting you. Planning to hurt my own child. How does it correspond to that image of myself that I have? To what I am? That's not what I want to be… That's not what I am… And then I thought that I want you to meet the real me…" finished Madara very quietly and Sakura wanted nothing more but to launch herself at him and embrace him with all her might. But that would have surely toppled the boat so she just squeezed his hand harder and lift it to her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. So curious about opinions!   
> This is probably the one-before-last chapter, so before we’re done here – any guesses what is the “never seen”? One interpretation is obviously the Rinnegan, and the other is… more meta. I’ll be glad to clear that out in the next chapter (let's see if it's not gonna be totally cheesy, because now I'm getting bit self-conscious about it) but maybe somebody will guess?


	12. Chapter 12

"So, what's the plan?" asked Sakura. After entire night of going downstream, Madara finally moored the boat in a shallow creek and was now unloading the packs.

"There is a port town two days from here. We'll walk. We'll traverse this forest going south, and get to the road that reaches the town from south east. That way we won't be seen as approaching neither from Uchiha nor from Senju territories. Then we catch a ship to Land of Water. From there – we'll see. But there will be some ships setting off towards the eastern continent at some point from Mizu no Kuni."

Sakura nodded. It was a solid plan. It could work as long as they remain unrecognized. "This town is under Uzumaki's clan control. You know that my clan and the Uzumaki clan…"

"I know. You're planning an alliance. Our spies figured out that much. But the chances that Senju will be present are very low – your people have no business there, it's not the Uzumaki's main seat. And that makes this town safe from my clan - they won't risk open conflict with Uzushio. And those are the Uchiha who are after us, not the Senju."

He finished unloading and untied the boat. When the current took it to the middle of the river, Madara followed, walking on the water. And then he released a powerful Katon technique. The flames enveloped the boat and the wood started to glow and screech so that Sakura could hear it even from the shore. Water of the river could do nothing to tame the flames. It was the first time Sakura saw him performing an offensive jutsu. And it reminded her who he is.

Most of the scorched remnants of the boat sunk. Rest drifted downriver, blackened to unrecognizability. Sakura looked as they floated and disappeared behind the riverbend.

"How did you even manage to arrange for a boat on such a short notice?" she asked when Madara stepped back on the shore.

"I didn't have to arrange for it. It was our old boat."

"Yours? Yours and your brother's?" asked Sakura digging in the smaller of the travelling packs.

Madara was adjusting the straps on the other one. It seemed to Sakura that he purposely wasn't looking at her. "No. Mine and my friend's. We used to meet by this river. It was our fishing boat."

Accepting the explanation, Sakura walked up to the shallows, crouched – with difficulty, the belly was in the way and she felt so heavy – and proceeded to fill up the canteens with water. But it seemed that Madara wasn't quite done with his story yet. Sakura lifted up her head to see him looking at the riverbend with furrowed brows. When he turned his eyes back to her, he looked as if he was hesitating whether to say something that was at the tip of his tongue. "It belonged to me and Hashirama," said Madara in the end.

Sakura dropped the water canteen.

Madara held her gaze. "I knew him. We used to be friends. When I learned about the transmigrants and about how combining the powers of both lineages will give rise to something new… something that could change this world… I just knew he is the other one. That's why you… It wasn't exactly a coincidence."

Sakura pressed her hands to her quivering lips.

Madara picked up the packs. "And now we have to go," he said and headed off.

"There is one thing more," he said after a while. "I believe it will be prudent if I stay by your side for the next couple of months." Sakura jerked her head at the statement, while Madara continued, not looking at her, but forwards. "Around the birth you and the baby will be vulnerable. We will need to find a safe place, with a way to earn out keep, within some form of community that will serve as a support… Learn the language at least a bit… I think it will be better if I'm with you until everything is settled. And then… I can disappear from your life. I'm sure we will figure out a way for me to provide for you even when we don't live together, even if we meet very rarely or not at all. It will also be fine with me if you decide that you want to raise this child as if it doesn't have a father."

"Why? Why do you say such things?"

"To give you a choice. Your freedom and my presence are not in one package. I don't even want it to be like this. You can start a new life. You will have enough restrictions anyhow, but at least you will be able to choose your partner."

"And you? What do you want?"

"What I want is irrelevant. As it didn't matter what you wanted all those months back."

Sakura stopped. He walked couple of paces more and then turned to see why she stayed behind. At least she made him look at her, because so far he was stubbornly keeping his eyes on the track. His face was indifferent. A bit too indifferent, too controlled. Sakura furrowed her eyebrows. "My decision?"

"Your decision." He confirmed and his face went even more blank. That was all the proof she needed.

"I don't want you gone. Not after the baby is born and not ever."

* * *

"What will we do there? If we won't be ninja?" asked Sakura. They were setting for a night and she was arranging the wood Madara brought into a campfire.

"Well, you'll have the baby to take care about."

"That's not an occupation." The idea of being reduced to wifely and motherly duties was something very foreign to Sakura.

"I guess at least at the beginning it very much is…"

"Maybe you're right. And you?"

"Probably some simple physical work. At least until I learn the language. There are always menial jobs that don't require much skill. I am physically fit, I can even work in a mine for some time until it eats on my substance. I have no idea about agriculture, but I was always good with animals… I can hunt, I know something about metal-working… I'll find something."

"Do you know what is it like there?"

Madara thought for a moment. "I know that they don't have rice there," he said in the end.

"Why would you know that, out of all things?!"

"The only man I've met that hailed from that continent was very picky about the food – he didn't know rice and didn't want to eat it."

Sakura laughed. "Anything else? What are people like there?"

"Like us? That man had brown hair and blue eyes."

* * *

Just after they had set off the following day, Sakura spotted a group of nut-trees with branches literally bending from not-quite-ripe nuts. The green flesh surrounding the kernels of this kind of nuts had very strong staining properties. She had Madara collect an entire sack and carry it whole day long.

Now, in the evening, when he was prepping the food, Sakura was sitting and painstakingly separating one husk after another, throwing the green outer skins to the pot. Madara wasn't happy. He wanted to use the pot to cook rice. When the pot was full, she added some water and used a stone to smash the husks' flesh and extract as much juice as possible. The liquid was oily black and Sakura started to have second thoughts.

But that was a good safety measure. Her hair colour stood out like a beacon. Even if the new colour turns out weird, she won't look herself anymore. She won't look like Senju Sakura, daughter of Tsunade, medic of the Senju clan.

Sakura undressed, not to ruin the only clothes she had, and bent over the pot. Using her hand, she rubbed the liquid methodically into her hair. Her palms already got strangely yellowish. Sakura pushed her worries to the back of her mind and kept working.

After she was done, she rinsed her hair with water and combed it with fingers. She grabbed a strand from over her ear and pulled it forwards, to see the result. Her hair was light brown, with this strange yellowish tint that bordered on green. As far as Sakura knew it was supposed to darkened still a bit in contact with air. Nevertheless, she couldn't even imagine how did she look like.

"How does it look like?"

Madara glimpsed up from over the rabbit he was skinning. "Unappealing."

Something in Sakura's chest clenched. She turned away and with pursed lips poured the stain into the empty water canteen. No matter how she looked like, now she was committed. She had to keep dyeing her hair for at least for as long as the stain lasts. And then find a replacement.

"What's wrong?" asked Madara.

She didn't answer and rubbed the container with more force.

"I didn't say you look unappealing. Only that this colour does."

"Maybe you shouldn't have said that," spat Sakura out.

"You asked my opinion. Should I have lied to you?"

"No!"

"Then what should I do? And why are you crying? We're in the middle of escape, we have more important things to worry about than whether I like your hair or not." He started with a scorn but somewhere in the middle his tone softened. He sat next to Sakura and awkwardly put his arm around her. "Get some perspective, will you?"

"It's just… I'm so afraid. I'm so dependent on you right now. It all hangs on your whim."

"I don't have whims," interrupted Madara.

"Alright. But still, what is there that holds you to me?"

"Except for my child that you carry?" quipped Madara.

"But later? It's not that you chose me on the first place."

Madara stiffened, shifted away and stood up.

"What did I say? Why are you angry with me now?!"

"If you wanted to remind you about my transgressions then congratulations – you just did."

"I don't understand…"

"You were given far less choice than I was."

"We've been through this already. In some way. We don't have to keep coming back to it. We will both go insane if we keep doing this. We have so much ahead of us. So many challenges. We cannot afford for the past to weaken us." Sakura paused and waited until she saw his shoulder relax. He half-turned to her, still indecisive, but clearly presenting her with an opening. "Come here." Sakura beckoned at him. "Your hair – I think we need to cut it short. It's too characteristic."

"I haven't cut my hair since I was twelve."

"And?" Sakura raised her eyebrow trying to keep her face straight.

"And it's a part of my identity, part of who I am."

Sakura gave him a pointed look. "And who needs a perspective here?"

"Right." Madara sat down, took out a kunai and cut off the first strand of his hair.

Sakura stood up and circled him to stand behind him. She extracted the kunai from his hand. "Let me do this." She rubbed a small circle on his shoulder. "We need to stop being who we are in order for this to succeed."

"It's so spiky! It's in all directions!" exclaimed Sakura in genuine awe after she was done, and the mass of black hair covered the ground around Madara.

Madara ran his hand through his hair. "I guess I had a similar haircut when I was a kid. Maybe it's not that bad…"

"It's not bad at all," smiled Sakura.

* * *

"Saho," said Sakura in the end. They were sitting by the fire, waiting for the rabbit to roast. And thinking about the new names they were going to adapt.

"Good one. You'll be able to keep the first syllable. The 'colour' as the first character suits you well. Or did you mean 'bloom'?"

"I don't know… I like both. I think it's nice to leave it open to interpretation, as we anyhow won't be ever writing it with the characters again."

"And 'ho'? From sailing? Because we're going there by sea?"

"No. 'Ho' from 'friend'." Smiled Sakura and searched for Madara's hand. "And your name?"

"I don't know. I'm not very imaginative when it comes to naming things…"

"Unlike Hashirama… He's all about naming things. Do you know what jutsu name did he come up with recently?"

"Do I _want_ to know?" Madara arched his eyebrow.

"I'll tell you anyhow! It's called: 'Entering Society with Bliss-Bringing Hands'. He said he didn't have a jutsu for this name yet, but he'll come up with something." Sakura paused. "I will never see what kind of jutsu is this going to be…" she added after a while.

Madara squeezed her hand. "I will also miss never seeing him again. In a way."

Sakura nodded, swallowing a tight ball that formed in her throat. "And you? You must be worried… About your people, about your brother?"

"Izuna will do a good job. Maybe he's better suited for leadership than I was. He's more… likeable. And he doesn't have those extravagant ideas that people never really understood. That made them wary of me." Madara dug in the earth with a stick. "An outlier cannot lead successfully. Izuna will do just fine. People will stand behind him."

"Will you miss him?"

"Yes."

Sakura interlaced her fingers with his. The sizzling of the meat on the roast broke them out of the melancholy.

"Oh, I have an idea!" exclaimed Sakura after they ate and Madara was gathering the bones to throw them away from their small camp. A crow perched between tree branches was observing his movements carefully.

"Go on," laughed Madara, "you can name me if you want."

"Really? You'd let me?"

"Of course."

"Well, then," Sakura raised finger to her lips. "How about 'Himaru'?"

Madara threw her the heaviest look he had in his arsenal. "No. That's idiotic. And too obvious – it would only draw attention to my clan."

"Ok, ok, it was a joke!" Sakura waved her hands in front of herself, trying not to roll over from laughing. "I would never dare to call you anything with 'maru'!" She took a deep breath in attempt of getting her laughing fit under control. "Alright, how about 'Karasu'?"

"Not bad… I like birds. Of course, I would prefer some more impressive bird than a crow for a namesake… But why would a commoner be named after a bird of prey? That would only raise suspicions."

"And 'Karasu' has an obvious genesis with your black hair," added Sakura. "Plus, with this haircut you really look like a ruffled, angry crow!"

Madara stared at her. "You're being very… forward. Quite different from how I know you. But I think I like it," he smiled.

* * *

"Do you love me?" asked Sakura.

They were lying for the night in a cave. Or rather in a small indentation in a stone face than a cave. Not enough to keep the warm generated by the fire for long, but enough to shelter them from rain. The night was cold and lying directly on the ground wasn't helping. Sakura cherished the warmth from Madara's embrace, the bulk of his body enveloping her from behind.

In retrospect it was a stupid question to ask, she realized, when Madara stiffened and shifted away from her.

"Love is irrelevant to what is between us. You are the one I hurt, whom I robbed of life. The one who accepted me nonetheless. Who prevented me from committing an abominable crime. You're the one for whom I'm leaving my life behind. You're so much more than just a 'love'." He broke off and Sakura thought he was done. He was rarely so eloquent. "But I do love you," he added after a short pause. "And I cannot even honestly say that I regret what I've done to you. Because otherwise we wouldn't be here."

Sakura turned around and nestled closer to him. She wiped her tears into the fabric of his shirt. But he didn't gather her up and was still lying stiffly on his back. "Do you?" he asked finally.

"I… I don't know… I never really thought about it until now. It was never a factor in my calculations." Sakura searched her heart. How was loving supposed to feel? "But I guess now," she made a sweeping gesture pointing at the open sky visible above the rock face, "I can finally start."

* * *

After they've reached the port town and found a place in a tavern, Madara insisted that they shouldn't go out and be seen on the streets. So, they spend the next two days in the small rented room waiting for the ship bound to Mizu no Kuni. Sakura slept for the most of it, being physically and emotionally drained after the escape.

Only on board of ship, which they entered prudently at dusk, they allowed themselves to be a bit more lax. Sakura would sit on the deck and watch the horizon. It was the first time she was on the sea, the first time she even saw the ocean. And watching horizon was helping her fight her nausea. For Madara, even keeping the eyes on the horizon all the time wasn't helping.

From the moment of boarding they adopted a strict no-ninjutsu policy, so even the privacy of their cabin Sakura couldn't use her healing abilities to remedy their predicament. On the third day, just around the time when Sakura thought she was getting used to the sea voyage, a mountainous island appeared in front of them - one of the outposts of the Land of Water archipelago.

The stop in the Mizu no Kuni capital was long. Much too long for Sakura's liking, but the ships sailing off to the eastern continent were departing only twice per month. They anyhow got relatively lucky with their timing. They didn't keep themselves as secluded as in the Uzumaki town, they needed in the end to get food and supplies. Madara found a place where they exchanged Hi no Kuni money for the ones used in the eastern continent. Not to raise suspicions, he exchanged only a moderate portion, and Sakura payed a visit to the establishment two days later, with a similar amount.

The next sea voyage was even more tasking that the previous. Open ocean proved to be a real challenge, especially as autumn storms didn't go easy on them. During the sparse calm days, Sakura sat on the deck, listening to the conversations of the travelers native to the eastern continent. Her pregnant condition was attracting attention, but, by then, Sakura had their cover-story well practiced – they hailed from a small farming village in the Land of Hot Water. Due to a family feud they would have never be allowed to marry, so when Sakura got pregnant, they eloped to find a place to live in peace.

One of the younger women took particular liking to her, and she sought her out whenever Sakura appeared on the deck. The girl could speak their language, so Sakura tried to learn as many words and everyday phrase in the tongue of eastern continent as possible. She even had the girl write 'We're looking for a place to sleep.', 'How much is it?', 'I'm looking for a job.', and other phrases she thought could come handy in the future, on strips of paper.

Madara appreciated the benefits coming from Sakura's new acquaintance, but he made it very clear that they would have to shake the girl off their trail once they come ashore. Even though with heavy heart, Sakura couldn't disagree. So, when the ship moored in harbor of a city larger than anything Sakura had ever seen before, and the passengers began to disembark, they were the first to go down the ramp. They got quickly lost in the crowd and headed north, the opposite direction than the tavern recommended by Sakura's new friend.

It was only in a small but buzzing fishing town, they reached after two days of travel by cart, that they felt they've made it. In the anonymity of foreign-speaking crowd at the fish market they held each other's hands for the first time.

Using the sentences from Sakura's not-meant-to-last friend, Madara got recruited into a team of workers. The caravan of carts set off inland two days later, with wagons loaded with all kinds of belongings, women, children and even some livestock. Sakura and Madara with their two traveling packs were making a miserable picture. They didn't even exactly know where were they going – the only thing Sakura managed to figure out was that the job involved some "construction".

When after a week of travel across a mountain range, they arrived at the destination, the construction turned out to be an ambitious project of a feudal lord. They were tasked with building a bridge across a large river. Later, when they got to know more of the language, they learned that the trading routes were controlled by another noble who had the only existing bridge on his territory, and the lord employing them planned to break this monopoly.

A small village for builders and their families was already set up between the river and the stone quarry. Rows of simple wooden barracks sunk in mud of autumn rains. It was simple lodging, rudimentary even, but Sakura was immensely grateful for the roof over their heads and the food on their table. And the relative security that the makeshift village provided them.

* * *

It was a day like any other; Madara was off to the construction site, or to the quarry, Sakura didn't know exactly. And cloudy, cold day. It was about noon when her birthing pains hit her.

She was mentally prepared; she was expecting it to happen any day now. Still she couldn't help to be scared. Trying to act inconspicuously, she turned away from the open-air communal kitchen where the women were preparing the meal, cooking in huge iron cast pots. It was more efficient than cooking every family on their own, and the food was provided for the entire camp in bulk by the feudal lord. Not to mention the barracks didn't have kitchens.

Sakura headed slowly towards their barrack, prudently keeping close to the wall, lest she swayed. Once inside their room, first thing she did was to gather a blanket from the bed and cover the widow. There was nothing to hang it on, but luckily, she had stored a handful of nails she found around the barrack in a chest that held all their belongings. Using a stone, Sakura nailed the blanket to the wall, obstructing all light coming through the window. She added more nails on the upper edge, and a row at the lower, for a good measure.

She considered barring the door, but opted out of it. What if something goes really awry and she will _need_ to call for assistance? And Madara won't be able to enter once he comes back.

With nothing more to be done Sakura started to pace endless circles around the tiny room, mindful of the frequency of contractions. Until, at some point, she didn't feel like walking anymore. Preemptively, she undressed waist down and dragged another blanket to the middle of the room. If she bloodies the floor, the stench will persist for weeks.

For what came afterwards, she wasn't prepared. She couldn't keep her voice low. She tried, but grunts and whimpers and sometimes even screams were coming out louder than she wanted. The barrack walls were so thin – only a one layer of wooden planks was separating her from a living space of another family.

Finally, just as she feared, the door cracked open and head of neighbours' kid peeked in from behind it. Light fell on Sakura kneeling on the middle of the floor and the child retreated in panic. It only took a minute for its mother to appear at the doorstep.

Refusing assistance would only raise suspicions at that point, so Sakura didn't protest when the woman let herself in, gesticulating and apparently berating Sakura for not calling for help earlier. In vain she tried to prevent her from going out again though, fearing that her neighbour would bring more people in. But the woman returned only a moment later, drying her hands, she must have washed, into her apron and carrying some sheets that looked significantly cleaner than the blanket Sakura was kneeling on. She got lucky - Sakura concluded – her neighbour was a mother of five, and apparently confident enough to deliver the baby by herself.

* * *

It was late afternoon when Madara appeared at the doorstep. By then, Sakura, lied cradling a wet, squirming bundle tight to her chest. She was holding the baby like this from the moment her neighbour placed it in her arms. She didn't let it go, not even for one second. Whatever protection she could provide to it, even if it was the flimsiest, she would.

When Madara noticed what had come to pass, he quickly stepped in and closed the door behind himself. Sakura let out an exhale of relief. Now, that he was there, even if it comes to the worst, they still could maybe somehow get out of it. If she has to, if she really has to, she _will_ get up and run.

"A girl. It's a girl," said Sakura when he approached.

"What did she see?" asked Madara nodding towards the neighbour who was folding bloodied cloths in the corner of the room, humming some simple melody to herself. Passing by the table Madara gathered a knife and in a swift and efficient motion tucked in behind his belt.

Sakura's eyes flew to the woman. She didn't notice anything, and she couldn't understand what they were saying. "Nothing. I kept the window closed and I prevented her from lighting a candle." Sakura paused and swallowed thickly. "Can you… Can you check?" Her heart was beating so hard that her chest felt as if it would explode any moment. She loosened the grip she had on the child and let Madara extract the baby from her embrace.

He lifted it impossibly carefully and placed it in the crook of his arm. He walked up to the window and dislodge the lower nails, holding the child towards the light of the setting sun. Sakura held her breath. Then she could only watch as his shoulders slumped and he leaned against the wall covering his eyes with the hand.

"What is it!? What is it?! Tell me! How do her eyes…?"

Madara rubbed at his eyes and ripped the blanket from the nails. In three brisk steps he approached the bed and placed the child back in Sakura's arms.

She looked down. The eyes of a newborn met hers. Eyes of that peculiar, undefined shade of dark-blue-grey that most newborns have. Completely ordinary. No trace of Rinnegan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and that's the end. From the bottom of my heart thank you to all who decided to give this fic a go (despite its tags). Thank you for all the reviews and discussions. I had impression that I had more really thoughtful, in-depth exchanges going during publishing this story, than ever before and I am so happy and grateful for those!
> 
> I said I will tell what is the second "never seen"... Well, I thought I've never seen before a fic where Madara would give up being a ninja and pursue a life of simple civilian, doing pedestrian, menial jobs just to get by... So, that's my "never seen"...
> 
> One last time, please let me know your thoughts - about this chapter, and about the story in general!


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